Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Top Tweets of 2009 (Apr. 5 -Nov. 3)

I assembled some time ago a list of my top tweets of 2009, I didn't get through November or December's, but whatever, those should still be fresh on your mind, enjoy! I did!

I have caved in, sigh
Present me is going to let future me figure out Fridays plans, ill let him deal with it Twitter is gay @BrewCrewBabe didn't want to be as easily found, haha - Test

Splash zone? That's not a keg! Though I use it more, I maintain my hatred of Twitter, the scourge of society, yeah Is there a better feeling than the sun baking your skin at a ballgame? I think not! Trying tiny twitter since twitterberry is gay Jesus was an alcoholic. Picking up pug in gay Illinois Hmm, I think I like uber twitter I am not on a boat I love when I'm so tired, that I fall into my bed like an giant robot that got defeated. I'm soon to be on a boat I love you America! You rock kid Told dudes that the get er done joke is 5 years old and they should leave. They left Help fight off scurvy and grab yourself some fruit Do you know how to get lady gagas attention? @diddy05 you poke her face BoObs arE. My favorite Don't start a fire! They don't appeciate that. RT @ericdohr: Headed up to peshtigo
Homeward bound! (not the cat & dog but the Dustin) Screw you Jeff Suppan That was a strange dream! I was at a goodwill and NPH was there and Olivia munn was working there. But I did find a perfect top gun costume. After finding all pieces of the costume and being thrilled about it, NPH told me to 'flight suit up!' Frankly I'm surprised that the official french twitterer hasn't surrendered yet since I mentioned blitzkrieg. Good for you France! So proud 5 am cab rides to the cop shop, 6 am campfire! On what was supposed to be a chill night. Stuff stories are made of really Hamburger, consider yourself helped! Fuck you dawn, you were cooler when I stayed up for you and lit a campfire in celebration Upset I had to join forces with a cub fan to tell twinkie fan nl baseball is real baseball Things got all sorts of crazy tonight! Good thing I keep a pocket full of awesome with me at all times Shutup twitter, I don't want you to know what I'm doing 'I got my toes in my dress shoes, ass in an office chair'....that isn't catchy at all The 7 dwarfs were talking to hookers! "hi hoe, off to 'work' we go" how has no one caught this until now Was not expecting a bathroom attendant at the state fair I was afraid the inability to sleep "early" would affect me. Time to deploy operation nyquil Going to "the heart of the Oregon trail" hope I don't get dysentery and have to rest a few days I smell like bacon, and I like it My old fat men in overalls capacity has been reached for the week, to Lincoln I go! This is where robbers stole my wheel. Thankfully I bought an extra at the last fort So, a double popped collar! I thought it was a thing of myth. Dbag of the night, possibly year. "ill wear 2 polos and pop them both" idiot I got a feeling, that tonights gonna be a Tuesday night Wednesday, neutral to me I'm wearing sunglasses inside because a)I'm cool b)the eye doc dilated my pupils. Mostly because I'm cool Just never you mind what I'm doing, nosy people Started my work day talking about boobs, ended with smores talk. Good day! I honestly hope tebow trips on his bible and breaks his wrist. I would start going to church if that happened If kanye west were trying to kill me, I'd buy some time by closing the shades on his glasses Hey Michigan, I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass! Umm, why does sci-fi channel now use the spelling syfy? Is there reasoning? Because I feel this is retarded Wow, escobar gets another web gem! Screw being a Hoover, this kid's a black hole for grounders RT @diddy05: RT @diddy05: Ditto! RT @diddy05: I'm neat

Life observation #956 - you never wake up on a couch and say "damn its hot" usually quite the opposite The song tainted love will forever have dan akroyd doing the "eh eh" in my head. The song has been, well, tainted! 21 means 19, and 40mph should mean 50mph. What's so hard about this all And 65 mph should not mean complete stop! Fuck!
What did taco bell Canada use for that old tbell slogan: head 2 borders south?
Watching Rick Reilly on sportscenter is like watching the death of journalism firsthand. Well, I'm in some place. That's good I suppose. There are girls, half of which I pissed off because I talk too much, but, good I guess You know it was a decent night when you have to check google latitude just to figure out where you are I like peanuts and like peanut butter. I also like cashews...who wants to help me butterize cashews and make millions? The worst driver type is the overly happy brake tapping guy. I firmly believe this is how cankles are made! Every 2 seconds dude? Really? Just saw a plastic bag floating on a breeze. I had no desire to film it Sticks and stones may break my bones....but a boulder will likely kill you. Going to go kick some balls. I heard I was drinking the high life as well. Where are you wendall?! I ordered a soda at miller park, I was nervous I'd screw my order up and say "I'll have a miller dew" or "I'll have a mountain lite" The sky is making things wet, this befuddles me Go to bed Dustin......ok. The song 'the final countdown' doesn't make too much sense on a Tuesday at 10:18 AM I'm a legend in my spare time Ahh, some fresh Columbian stimulant......oh that could be interpreted bad. Drinking coffee
I should take up smoking so when I get out of breath, I can blame smoking instead of being completely out of shape. A night only takes turns for the better when meatloaf plays. Dead serious How come nickelback keeps releasing the same song over and over? I tried to bounce quarters across the entire bar. Went long, I got this I think half an hour long conversations about how to properly kill zombies is good strategizing for the future. I'm set I have nothing of any sort of importance, relevance, or cleverness to say.....felt I should say that Why do the Canadian airports have a condom machine in every bathroom? "Don't spread these motha fuckin' AIDS on our motha fuckin' planes" What would happen if I used "A touch of Gray" hair product? I'm 26 (hence not yet gray). hmmm, deep thoughts Whoa! My cellular phone has the world wide web! I think beer should be in me soon. I wonder if there is a place to drink around here. Haha, yeah, there, is Because some zombie thing tomorrow. Zombies ruin everything! @diddy05: Why can't I walk on fauxhatten bridge, damn it. I didn't have a doorknob sign so I made my own. Who wants to cuddle I see no one has broken Bielema's sunglasses yet...that's unfortunate. #badgers Just saw a redneck wearing an ecko shirt. Ok then. At least he purchased some Budweiser. Oh oak creek I must be failing at life because I haven't married Carrie Underwood yet. I have Huey Lewis & The News stuck in my head.....that's not a bad thing at all though. Oh Wednesday, why can't be more like Friday? You're not as assholeish as Monday, but you can do better! Fellow Sconnies, don't say Tyme machine...other states thinks your crazy when you ask for a time machine. Damn it taco bell, stop advertising. You're making me hungry Jeff Dunham has his own show? He's funny maybe once. Comedy central, if you're just going to hand shows out, can I be next? Just saw an ed hardy beer. Must be the nectar of the douche. Thomas Jefferson should have finished the Declaration of Independence with a colon upper case P, like, that would have showed those brits! John Jacob Jingleheimer Smit doesn't share my name at all...not even a little bit Rain is God peeing. The pee gets filtered by the clouds, which is why they are always dark when it rains Waking up at 10:30 sucks. Its like your body knew you'd want McDonald's bfast and waited perfectly until you couldn't get it Humanity will figure out world peace before they figure out how to work a 4 way stop! Early bird gets the worm right? Well I don't eat worms, so why do I care? I can seeee you Wisconsin. You look good! I'm about to penetrate your airspace, mmmm Fuck you socks, get off my feet Turns out seals are my kind of creatures that enjoy chilling at a dive bar over pitchers of beer. I can sleep on that thought

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