Recently I was going through some files on my computer when I came across a story I had started writing. It was me starting to write about my college experience. I think that most people always like to think that their college experience is book or movie worthy, when in fact, it really isn't. However, I still decided to start adding on to it, for my own amusement. I then realized that it would be perfect blog fodder! The first few posts are already written, and I will probably put them up in pretty rapid succession, but it might slow down for a while as many stories still have to be written. I will still be writing about other things as well as I get more ideas or rants.
The proper thing to do is to start a whole new blog for this, but Imight jeopardize losing readership as people aren't sure where to go ever, and why lose any of my 5 readers, haha. It will always be entitled 'My Collegiate Life', so you know when the next part is. I will probably always let people know via facebook or AIM.
I am going to be fairly open on this, as this was my life and what I was thinking, so, maybe some things come out about you! haha. Anyways, this will all start the moment I get a job, which is looking good at this point in time. At that point I will unprivatize my blog for all to read again.
Stay Tuned!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Cy Young
these are going to get shorter and shorter, as I have a short attention span.
American League
Cliff Lee -This guy was amazing this year and completely came out of nowhere. Everyone was expecting that CC Sabathia would repeat, but after early season struggles, the Indians performing poorly and them not coming to terms on a contract, he was traded off. If it was to be another Indian pitcher, it would have been Fausto Carmona, certainly wouldn't have thought Cliff Lee, but, it was, congrats.
National League
Brandon Webb - Late season struggles won't overshadow what he did to start the season. Though Tim Lincecum should get a nod here as well. That is it, my expert analysis.
American League
Cliff Lee -This guy was amazing this year and completely came out of nowhere. Everyone was expecting that CC Sabathia would repeat, but after early season struggles, the Indians performing poorly and them not coming to terms on a contract, he was traded off. If it was to be another Indian pitcher, it would have been Fausto Carmona, certainly wouldn't have thought Cliff Lee, but, it was, congrats.
National League
Brandon Webb - Late season struggles won't overshadow what he did to start the season. Though Tim Lincecum should get a nod here as well. That is it, my expert analysis.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Rookie Of The Year
This years ROY awards, are simple. I think everyone knows who will be winning in both leagues. So, here they are
National League
Geovany Soto - I spoke about him in the last post as a runner up for the silver slugger award. For the ROY, he has little competition. The closest may be Joey Votto of the Reds. What is most impressive about Soto is that he not just hot well, but controlled an amazing pitching staff. As a Brewers fan, I was hoping his ability to call games was lacking, for I knew he could hit. Unfortunately for me, he can call the game just fine.
American League
Evan Longoria - Sort of Ryan Braun effect, comes up in the bigs after a month or so, and just pounds the ball. Unlike Braun, Longoria doesn't have any close competition (Tulowitzki). He was a main part of the Rays reaching the postseason. I think you should keep an eye on this kid, superstar is written all over him
National League
Geovany Soto - I spoke about him in the last post as a runner up for the silver slugger award. For the ROY, he has little competition. The closest may be Joey Votto of the Reds. What is most impressive about Soto is that he not just hot well, but controlled an amazing pitching staff. As a Brewers fan, I was hoping his ability to call games was lacking, for I knew he could hit. Unfortunately for me, he can call the game just fine.
American League
Evan Longoria - Sort of Ryan Braun effect, comes up in the bigs after a month or so, and just pounds the ball. Unlike Braun, Longoria doesn't have any close competition (Tulowitzki). He was a main part of the Rays reaching the postseason. I think you should keep an eye on this kid, superstar is written all over him
Thursday, October 09, 2008
2008 Silver Slugger Awards (NL Only)
First Base
Runners Up:
Ryan Howard - After getting off to a horrid start, things weren't looking good for the superstar who was making a record $10 million arbitration contract. He deserved it though, after winning the Rookie of the Year and MVP awards, he was due some coin. However, Howard got things moving after the slump. He led all first basemen with 48 HRs and an 146 RBIs. Helped drive the Phillies into the postseason with a monster September. He whiffed 199 times though.
Lance Berkman - A model of consistency, on BOTH sides of the plate. Berkman is the heart of the Astros team. His numbers were great 106 RBI's with a .312 AVG, that gets you consideration, but someone's #'s were better.
The Winner:
Albert Pujols - While he does have almost 100 ABs less than Howard, Pujol's numbers are, as usual, amazing! He had 116 RBIs, 342 TB, 37 HR, 104 BB, with an astonishing .357 AVG. Should I even have to mention he struck out only 54 times?
Second Base
Runner Up
Dan Uggla - The Marlins were in the playoff hunt for 2/3 of the year before they finally fell back to reality. Uggla helped to give them that chance. He belted 32 HR and had 92 RBIs. Not bad for a middle infielder. He only had 5 SB though, and an ugly 171 Ks with a .260 AVG.
The Winner
Chase Utley - There really was no contest here. Utley, as expected, was the best hitting second baseman in the NL. 33 HRs, 104 RBIs, 292. AVG, and swiped 14 bags. He is a true five tool player!
Third Base
Runners Up
Aramis Ramirez - I hate to say it, but this guy can hit. His lack of hustle of course is something to be worried about if you were a Cub fan, but you can't get too upset with a guy hitting .289 with 27 jacks, and 111 RBIs. Ramirez though, should be able to put up better number than this.
Chipper Jones - This poor guy can't stay healthy. Shame too, in only 439 ABs he hit a remarkable .364 with 22 HRs and 75 RBIs. If he had a full season, this award is his for the taking.
The Winner
David Wright - Once again, there wasn't much contest here. He is easily the leader of the Mets sqaud. And while once again. the Mets managed to have a fatal September collapse, Wright's numbers helped them at least be in it until the end. 115 Rs, 33 HRs, 124 RBIs, 15 SB, 94 BBs, all while batting .302.
Shortstop
Runner Up
Jose Reyes - This is such a tough call, as there are two amazing SS's in the NL. I actually just switched Reyes from the winner to the runner up. Reyes batted a ridiculous 688 times and maintained a .297 AVG. However, if I have to look at those extra 100 ABs, how does he stack up to his main competitor. He has 17 HRs less, 1 more RBI, and 12 less runs scored. His stolen base number is 56, which is jaw dropping, but, that doesn't mean he is the best hitter, just a better runner. I am looking at it this way: in 100 extra plate appearances, he only has 1 more RBI than his closest competitor.
The Winner
Hanley Ramirez - Hanley hit a stupifying 33 HRs for a shortstop. Have you seen how big this guy is? He scored 125 times and finished with a .301 AVG. He was able to work the count often with 92 BBs (Reyes 66).
Left Field
Runners Up
Matt Holliday - I had Matt winning until I noticed one thing, he only had 290 total bases. He hit an amazing .321 over the course of 539 plate appearances. Not to mention 25 HRs and 88 RBIs. I wouldn't be surprised to see Holliday get the award, but, not in my books.
Manny Ramirez - He really stands no chance of winning, as he only played the NL for 1/2 a season. But his numbers the 2nd half, and what he did for the Dodgers are certainly noteworthy!
The Winner
Ryan Braun - I really tried to not be a Homer on this, but the numbers don't lie. I started writing why he didn't win, but I was kidding myself. He led all of MLB outfielders with 338 Total Bases! He hit 37 HR's and had 106 RBIs. While his AVG was much lower than Holliday's at .285, it is still respectable, and he did have more than 70 ABs more than Matt did.
Center Field
Runners Up
Nate McClouth - Not sure what the Pirates would have done had they not had this guy? 26 long balls and 94 RBIs with a .276 AVG. Keep an eye on this kid for the future!
Matt Kemp - Another star in the making. He stands no chance to win, but is someone of note for sure.
The Winner
Carlos Beltran - It is still baffling on how the Mets failed to make the playoffs, well at least with their batting lineup. Beltran had 303 TB , batted .284, hit 27 Homers, and batted in 112 while he himself scored 116 times. He accounted for a lot of Met runs throughout the season!
Right Field
The Winner
Ryan Ludwick - Wow, it is shocking to see how average the National League outfielders are! There is not runner up, the winner straight up goes to Ludwick! Batting .299 he hit 37 long balls and drove in 113. His 318 total bags is impressive as well.
Catcher
Runners Up
Geovany Soto - Lets not kid ourselves, this kid is going to win a few of these awards when he is said and done. He can rake! In his rookie year, he hit .285 with 86 RBIs and 23 dingers!
Russell Marten - Another extremely bright future! Hit .280 with 69 driven in
The Winner
Brian McCann - It used to be, the catcher was just about defense and controlling the pitching staff. The new wave of catchers can also hit, as seen with the two youngsters above as well. McCann hit .301, 23 HRs, 87 RBIs, and had 266 TBs. Not shabby!
Pitcher
Runners Up
Micah Owings - So, I thought he would be the winner going into this part. But apparently I was thinking of his 2007 numbers still. Also, apparently he became a Red during the whole Dunn trade, I missed that. His average for the year was still great for a pitcher well over .300 for the year.
CC Sabathia - Like Manny, stands no chance at winning. But his AVG is respectable and he hits for power, big time! If he stays in the NL, he should get 1 or 2 of these awards. 1 HR with 6 RBIs.
The Winner
Carlos Zambrano - No big shocker here. If you are the Ace of a team, and you bat .337, hit 4 HRs, and drive in 14....as a pitcher with 83 ABs! You pretty much are guaranteed this hardware.
MLB Awards
I have decided that I am going to decide who should get all the major awards in baseball this year. These are not predictions, but who I feel is the most deserving winner. I will likely have the winner and then some runners up with a description of why I chose who I chose or did not choose. I will obviously try to be objective in these awards.
Hopefully this afternoon I will be starting these awards off with the Silver Slugger awards. Then tomorrow the Rookie of the Years. I can't say for certain if I will be writing anything over the weekend, but the order will go after ROY: Cy Young and MVP. I will cover both leagues on all except the silver slugger, as I am far more knowledgeable of the NL than the AL, and breaking down every AL position wouldn't cover anything except stats, and more goes into these than stats in my opinion.
You may wonder why I would cover the Silver Slugger and not the Gold Glove. The answer is simple, there is so much more that goes in to the Gold Glove than just Fielding %, assists, and putouts. Ryan Braun has a 100% fielding percentage...0 errors! That is almost unheard of! However, he should be nowhere near anyone's consideration for Gold Glove as he took many a bad routes to the ball along with other simple things such as missing cut off men, etc. Gold Glovers, while rarely let errors happen, still do. It is their style of defense that gets factored in, and I couldn't possibly break down every fielder in the NL.
So, hopefully this afternoon, you will see the Silver Slugger awards for every NL position!
Hopefully this afternoon I will be starting these awards off with the Silver Slugger awards. Then tomorrow the Rookie of the Years. I can't say for certain if I will be writing anything over the weekend, but the order will go after ROY: Cy Young and MVP. I will cover both leagues on all except the silver slugger, as I am far more knowledgeable of the NL than the AL, and breaking down every AL position wouldn't cover anything except stats, and more goes into these than stats in my opinion.
You may wonder why I would cover the Silver Slugger and not the Gold Glove. The answer is simple, there is so much more that goes in to the Gold Glove than just Fielding %, assists, and putouts. Ryan Braun has a 100% fielding percentage...0 errors! That is almost unheard of! However, he should be nowhere near anyone's consideration for Gold Glove as he took many a bad routes to the ball along with other simple things such as missing cut off men, etc. Gold Glovers, while rarely let errors happen, still do. It is their style of defense that gets factored in, and I couldn't possibly break down every fielder in the NL.
So, hopefully this afternoon, you will see the Silver Slugger awards for every NL position!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
NLDS Game 1 - Brewers @ Phillies
Below is a timeline of the game and my thoughts:
1:45 - Jake and I arrive at a bar near his place called Grainger's. It was a fairly simple looking bar and grill, but had plenty of TVs to make sure no one missed a pitch, so, it would work perfect. There aren't too many people here as of now, but it is Wednesday afternoon and most people have a job (unlike Jake and I).
1:58 - I just remembered I forgot to eat lunch. This is troubling news as I have no job and should not be spending money on food. Jake notices a large wall filled with tequila, neat.
2:00 - We both agree FrankTV is just, not good.
2:07 - First pitch! We are under way.
2:08 - I ponder if Cameron will strike out, we both agree he probably will, Jake thinks looking, I say swinging.
2:09 - Yes, Cameron does strike out, looking, I win!
2:12 - Quick 3 up, 3 down. Hamels looks sharp.
2:16 - Did Rickie Weeks just flash leather? Maybe his defense won't ruin us (ha)
2:19 - Gallardo has a quick inning as well, he too is looking sharp. The bar is sort of dead right now, I think I may have been the only one cheering at this point.
2:25 - Hart still is not good....maybe later (ha)
2:27 - It is raining in Philly, will the game continue? (it does)
2:29 - I can not stand Shane Victorino's two-flapped helmet. I understand he is a switch hitter, but be normal and buy two helmets, you look retarded.
2:32 - I should be a color guy on TV. Jake asked if the rain would help or hinder a pitcher. I say that it would help a curve ball but hinder a fastball. Just a few short moments later they say the exact same thing on TV.
2:36 - The fans that spent $1,000s of dollars to sit directly behind home plate have all left to the confines of dryness. Panzy asses. If I was sitting there, they would have to pry me away after the game.
2:44 - Oh god! What a terrible play. Bill Hall bobbles it to ruin a double play, then Rickie Weeks drops the throw to first for an out. The ball hit his glove, he is absolutely terrible, I hate Rickie Weeks!
2:50 - Cameron just dropped the 3rd out scoring 2 runs.....would have been a tough catch, but it was in his webbing, tough to swallow right now how this all went down. Should have never come to this, Weeks is to blame for sure.
2:58 - Yo just walked in the 3rd run, Weeks is still to blame. In the playoffs, you can't give teams extra outs.
3:04 - We are being no hit through 4....not good
3:07 - I wonder at this point in time if Ned Yost is drunk watching the game at home, I mean smashed drunk! Dale Sveum is being interviewed and I envision a drunk and raged Yost tossing a bottle of beer through his TV. I'm sure he has another set he can watch.
3:13 - I still hate Weeks right now.
3:20 - Hart has just gotten the 1st hit of the game for the Crew...maybe he can keep it up now (ha)
3:22 - Weeks strikes out, I hate him
3:45 - Weeks = shitlist still
4:06 - Sorry for the delay, but the Brewers have nothing going for them, they suck
4:19 - Really, really gay
4:28 - Last chance, oh god
4:36 - Braun hits one down the line, 1 run in! How about a rally against Lidge, he is due for a blown save.
4:42 - Fielder has a good AB, but stikes out on a ridiculous pitch that would have been ball 4.
4:42 - Hardy is walked, WOOHOO
4:46 - Umm, Hart just struck out with two guys in scoring position....ugh he has been terrible. Brewers lose.
10:55 - Until tomorrow folks!
1:45 - Jake and I arrive at a bar near his place called Grainger's. It was a fairly simple looking bar and grill, but had plenty of TVs to make sure no one missed a pitch, so, it would work perfect. There aren't too many people here as of now, but it is Wednesday afternoon and most people have a job (unlike Jake and I).
1:58 - I just remembered I forgot to eat lunch. This is troubling news as I have no job and should not be spending money on food. Jake notices a large wall filled with tequila, neat.
2:00 - We both agree FrankTV is just, not good.
2:07 - First pitch! We are under way.
2:08 - I ponder if Cameron will strike out, we both agree he probably will, Jake thinks looking, I say swinging.
2:09 - Yes, Cameron does strike out, looking, I win!
2:12 - Quick 3 up, 3 down. Hamels looks sharp.
2:16 - Did Rickie Weeks just flash leather? Maybe his defense won't ruin us (ha)
2:19 - Gallardo has a quick inning as well, he too is looking sharp. The bar is sort of dead right now, I think I may have been the only one cheering at this point.
2:25 - Hart still is not good....maybe later (ha)
2:27 - It is raining in Philly, will the game continue? (it does)
2:29 - I can not stand Shane Victorino's two-flapped helmet. I understand he is a switch hitter, but be normal and buy two helmets, you look retarded.
2:32 - I should be a color guy on TV. Jake asked if the rain would help or hinder a pitcher. I say that it would help a curve ball but hinder a fastball. Just a few short moments later they say the exact same thing on TV.
2:36 - The fans that spent $1,000s of dollars to sit directly behind home plate have all left to the confines of dryness. Panzy asses. If I was sitting there, they would have to pry me away after the game.
2:44 - Oh god! What a terrible play. Bill Hall bobbles it to ruin a double play, then Rickie Weeks drops the throw to first for an out. The ball hit his glove, he is absolutely terrible, I hate Rickie Weeks!
2:50 - Cameron just dropped the 3rd out scoring 2 runs.....would have been a tough catch, but it was in his webbing, tough to swallow right now how this all went down. Should have never come to this, Weeks is to blame for sure.
2:58 - Yo just walked in the 3rd run, Weeks is still to blame. In the playoffs, you can't give teams extra outs.
3:04 - We are being no hit through 4....not good
3:07 - I wonder at this point in time if Ned Yost is drunk watching the game at home, I mean smashed drunk! Dale Sveum is being interviewed and I envision a drunk and raged Yost tossing a bottle of beer through his TV. I'm sure he has another set he can watch.
3:13 - I still hate Weeks right now.
3:20 - Hart has just gotten the 1st hit of the game for the Crew...maybe he can keep it up now (ha)
3:22 - Weeks strikes out, I hate him
3:45 - Weeks = shitlist still
4:06 - Sorry for the delay, but the Brewers have nothing going for them, they suck
4:19 - Really, really gay
4:28 - Last chance, oh god
4:36 - Braun hits one down the line, 1 run in! How about a rally against Lidge, he is due for a blown save.
4:42 - Fielder has a good AB, but stikes out on a ridiculous pitch that would have been ball 4.
4:42 - Hardy is walked, WOOHOO
4:46 - Umm, Hart just struck out with two guys in scoring position....ugh he has been terrible. Brewers lose.
10:55 - Until tomorrow folks!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
BREWERS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS!
Some have waited 26 years for the Milwaukee Brewers to return to the post-season (last time in 1982). I respect those people, for I have only waited 25 years (my age), and one more year would have about drove me insane. True, I was certainly not hooting and hollering as an infant, for the Brewers at least, but I am a life long fan and have been waiting for this moment for a long, long time, as has a good majority of the state of Wisconsin.
Some of my favorite memories as a kid were going to County Stadium to watch the Brewers. This to me was my vacation, as I grew up on a dairy farm and we rarely were able to leave the farm for extended periods of time as constant work always needs to be done. But, 3-5 times a year, we would make the 2.5 hour adventure to east to Milwaukee. I remembered certain landmarks along the way, to know how close we were getting. I always enjoyed the 'Smiley Barn', which is now just red and sells Amish furniture in Delafield. I still gaze on that barn on get fond memories, as my sister and I always found it to be quite amusing to have a big bright yellow barn with a gigantic smiley face on it. The next landmark, was the Brookfield water tower off of I-94, the cylinder shaped one. That was when I knew we were just a few short miles from the wonderful County Stadium. Who would have thought I would end up living right smack in the middle of those landmarks!
I loved County Stadium, it was the only stadium I had ever known up to that point, so there was no way another stadium could be any better! Of course, there certainly were better, much better, stadiums, even at the time, but for my own nostalgia, I would beg to differ. I grew up idolizing Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Jim Gantner, B.J. Surhoff, Dale Sveum, Greg Vaughn, Cal Eldred, Teddy Higuera, Dan Plesac...and many other throughout the late 80's and early 90's. They had a good team, and even with a couple 90+ wins seasons, with no Wild Card, the poor Brewers did not ever make the postseason.
Now, 2008, a whole new batch of Brewers, and things seemed to be falling apart yet again in September, as they had in August 2007. But, as we all know, they perservered, and sucked it up when they had to in order to clinc the wild card spot for the NL Playoffs. I will tell you that my emotions were all over the place. At first, jumping and clapping and hollering like a mad man...followed by me kneeling and clutching my hands to my mouth in utter disbelief as I watched the madness ensue on the field. I went to the game the day before, hoping to see them clinch then, but it wasn't to be. But, it was every bit as sweet watching it from my living room, just pure joy!
I will try to keep up with the Brewers in the postseason on the blog. Yesterday I went to the big rally, and I have a feeling that might come up.
LET'S GO BREWERS!
Some of my favorite memories as a kid were going to County Stadium to watch the Brewers. This to me was my vacation, as I grew up on a dairy farm and we rarely were able to leave the farm for extended periods of time as constant work always needs to be done. But, 3-5 times a year, we would make the 2.5 hour adventure to east to Milwaukee. I remembered certain landmarks along the way, to know how close we were getting. I always enjoyed the 'Smiley Barn', which is now just red and sells Amish furniture in Delafield. I still gaze on that barn on get fond memories, as my sister and I always found it to be quite amusing to have a big bright yellow barn with a gigantic smiley face on it. The next landmark, was the Brookfield water tower off of I-94, the cylinder shaped one. That was when I knew we were just a few short miles from the wonderful County Stadium. Who would have thought I would end up living right smack in the middle of those landmarks!
I loved County Stadium, it was the only stadium I had ever known up to that point, so there was no way another stadium could be any better! Of course, there certainly were better, much better, stadiums, even at the time, but for my own nostalgia, I would beg to differ. I grew up idolizing Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Jim Gantner, B.J. Surhoff, Dale Sveum, Greg Vaughn, Cal Eldred, Teddy Higuera, Dan Plesac...and many other throughout the late 80's and early 90's. They had a good team, and even with a couple 90+ wins seasons, with no Wild Card, the poor Brewers did not ever make the postseason.
Now, 2008, a whole new batch of Brewers, and things seemed to be falling apart yet again in September, as they had in August 2007. But, as we all know, they perservered, and sucked it up when they had to in order to clinc the wild card spot for the NL Playoffs. I will tell you that my emotions were all over the place. At first, jumping and clapping and hollering like a mad man...followed by me kneeling and clutching my hands to my mouth in utter disbelief as I watched the madness ensue on the field. I went to the game the day before, hoping to see them clinch then, but it wasn't to be. But, it was every bit as sweet watching it from my living room, just pure joy!
I will try to keep up with the Brewers in the postseason on the blog. Yesterday I went to the big rally, and I have a feeling that might come up.
LET'S GO BREWERS!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Mark & Stacey Lange - The Finale!
Last Time on The Bantering Butteris
The heroes were on their way to the church via limo, running slightly behind schedule due to a greasy lunch. The Heroines were getting ready at the church. And I was in charge of two 'preciouses'!
Arrival
After some brews on the limo, and the 'Good Doc' to mintify our breaths, it was time for our entrance into the church. Of course, it was early, and really no one was there yet, so, the entrance wasn't too grand, but, we were there. No one was missing, step 1 of a successful wedding complete! We all get to chill out in some side room for a bit, nothing exciting at all. Then a lady claiming to be the photographer finds me to take the rings for some pictures. Oh lord, I am being tested with these already, but she said my name, so I, without thinking hand them over to her and she disappears. Jon wonders if she isn't some scam artist at stealing wedding rings. I realize that my name is posted in the bulletin's, and one could easily assume the best man has the rings....she didn't have a camera with her or anything! Oh no! I really wasn't too worried, but, wow, I hope I don't give people any ideas on how to ruin a wedding yet get a couple thou' in the process.
The, so called photographer came back, with the rings, and a camera....and made us guys go outside, so, I guess she is legit. She takes some photos, I look fat...but it makes Mark look good, so, I guess.
Mark Has to Pee, Like 6 times
People were filing in now, most of us were mingling with some friends. I become nervous that I have drank several alcoholic beverages and had broken the seal. Thank goodness for an un-Catholic wedding I think to myself. Right before show time, I decide to squeeze what is left, just to make sure.
You know how when you are nervous, you have to go? Well, it is a normal thing, so if you don't know about that feeling, then you are weird. Well, Mark, made a few trips to the bathroom, and I of course find it amusing.
The Ceremony
The pastor tells Mark to take his place, seated just inside the doorway, and the girls make their appearance. We line up, and the guys are off. Dick messed up the positioning at first, but we quickly corrected the problem. Disaster avoided.
We all do the walk thing, grab the girls. Then Mark gets Stacey, she look amazing by the way! This may seem like I am being vague, but, it is a church service, nothing too out of the ordinary is going to happen.
I would like to say, that I feel that I have perfected the lip-syncing of church songs. The key is to actually air the words out.
So, the moment of truth, the pastor is wanting the rings for Mark and Stacey. I have been checking my pockets nonstop for the past hour, even during the first part of the service. I knew they were both there, but now, the hand off had to take place. I reach in my pocket, 1 ring....the other ring was stubborn and wouldn't get in my grasp. People, know this, Stacey has a ridiculously small finger, which leads to a tiny ring, which leads to me struggling to grab it. I did finally get the rings out and to the pastor, but not w/o it looking like I just played a game of pocket pool with myself.
After lighting the candle, Mark gives me a Hezbollah Style Fist Jab...I take this as a cue to brush the dirt off his shoulders as Stacey's train was being fixed. Then after the ceremony, I had to sign my name as a witness for the legality of their wedding license. I signed my name to perfection, thankfully, that was a lot of pressure!
Me and Limos Look Good Together
After the ceremony, the receiving line, and pictures, we hopped in the stretch Explorer for some drinks. Oh, and to go to a park for pictures, but mostly for drinks! First up, naturally, was to pole the bottle of Doctor. A couple passes back and forth, and it was cached pretty quick. I get out the Pucker (which I purchased with the aide of my assistant thanks to Giddee and Mark saying no one likes McGillicuddy). Well, guess what, no one likes pucker! Sara ruined the wedding...jk, we all did our best to take it down like champs. In fact, Jessie, Stacey's sis-in-law, took some of Erik's Jack Daniel Single Barrel and mixed it up with the Pucker for an Apple Jack....nice work Jessie!
We get to the park, and as we are getting out of the limo, someone asks me to hold their bouquet for them, I do, and get out of the limo to.....*snap* a picture being taken of me holding a bouquet...great! The photographer yells (more like tells) some kids to move, we take pics. Sara sucks at the Top Gun high five, Jon and Mark rock it to perfection though (I am starting to become the high five guy when drinking these days).
Now we are heading to the hotel...we are dangerously low on beer, so, when we arrive we all jet up to Sara, Jon, and I's room for the remaining beer. Yes, about 10 or so people in tuxes and dresses, 1 in a wedding dress, jam into this hotel room for some drinking action before the dinner.
Party Time!
After will kill the beer in my room, we go lineup for the introductions. We are walking to the Indiana Jones theme music. I have long been a proponent of the guy getting to choose the music to the Introductions/Grand March, and I had said to Mark some time ago about how at my sister's wedding they did the Star Wars theme, and I also told him that if someday, I ever get married, what I am going to have (I am not telling you people!). This scratched two items from his favorites, and he went with Indiana Jones, which worked out nice, for the new movie came out just a couple weeks previous.
We sit down, and Mark is talking about letting the crowd know that to get them to kiss, they have to make a putt. I volunteer, and when the glasses clanged, I gave the announcement, and decided to give an example of how it is done. I miss the putt, so naturally, I move the ball right next to the hole to cheat...and still miss the putt. Thankfully the photographer caught both misses on film.
What is this man rambling about?
Well, my other main duty, and final, as best man is to give a speech/toast. I had thought about what I wanted to say, but was nervous. I had a couple of stories, a couple of nice moments, and when it came time, Mark tells me no stories and to keep it short. So, I wing it! I honestly am not even sure what all I said, it was a big nervous blurb to me. I did mention how Mark told me that he was 98% sure he was going to marry Stacey after about 2 weeks of dating (I said 99% for a story's sake)...and, really, not sure what else. I can't even remember what I said for the toast. No, I was not wasted, I made it a point to not get wasted before this, I was just running on pure adrenalin, and here I was...two best friends of mine getting married and I am winging it. And then Allison, the Matron of Honor, gives her speech, and she rocks it, but I am pretty much sure that the girl's always out speak the guys at these things, so, I shouldn't feel too bad. Anyways, game on, I have nothing holding me back from getting wasted and having a rocking good time!
Dance, Dance
After consuming several/many beers, I am pumped and ready to hit the dance floor. Giddee and I join for a few slow songs, but our moment of glory came when a swing song came on ( I think it was at least). I proceed to try my best swing moves that was taught to me by some of my Highland gals. Problem: I am drunk and Sara doesn't have any clue what I am about to do. I swing her around a few times, and she gets these looks of fear on her face, which the photographer did a nice job of getting one of these faces of terror. All this dancing causes me to become disheveled, but, no stopping! Jon may have set a record for most dances with another guy.
Actually, I got upset that no one was around, but then went outside and saw everyone enjoying the amazing night. Couldn't have asked for a better day for a wedding. Once it got dark, everyone moved back inside, so, all good.
Actually, when it got dark, we were all instructed to go outside and light some sparklers in two lines. We do, and Mark and Stacey run under the sparklers. Seems dangerous, but it was neat. We light the leftovers and I make one of my patented, ridiculous statements. You know how with sparklers you write your name in the sky? Well:
"Everybody! Write your name, and pretend it's better than mine"
Yeah, I am an idiot.
Fuzzy Memories
None of this is in order I am sure, but, here is how it goes in my head:
So, we go back in, and it is time for the tradition of throwing items at groups of people. Mike catches the garter, which is hilarious for two reasons. 1) He is actually the next of our group of friends getting married, so, that worked 2) Stacey is awesome and had a Brewers garter, Mike is a huge Cub fan. Stef, Guss' girlfriend, and Pub girlfriend of many of us, catches the bouquet, and Mike and her share what I think was supposed to be a slow dance, though, it was, more like a drunken rain dance or something.
Now the dance floor was hopping, I think we brought the house down with some Beastie Boys. Andrea and I shared a dance to Take My Breath Away. I had to take a break from the dancing for a bit though. There were some sandwiches to help with our drunken hunger pangs, and Jon and I get the fantastic idea, to play bloody knuckles. We played for probably 30 minutes or so, it was very random, yet awesome! I should also mention, Mike talked with old people for almost the entire night (sorry Mark and Stacey's families). And Jon struck out swinging with Stacey's cousin, that was amusing to us all.
When it Hit Me
Now, I should preface this with letting you know that I was in a very unique situation. I had known Stacey since the start of Freshman year at UWW, and I didn't hang out with Mark (or know him for that matter) until a couple of years later and certainly became best friends with him. Stacey, would go out and have a good time, but she wasn't the every night bar rat like Mark and I were. When they finally met, everything worked out amazing (obviously)! But, I had the joy of watching two friends of mine fall in love (eww, emotions).
So, the night was winding down and of all the songs for the DJ to play, he plays Andrew W.K. - Party Hard. This song takes me back to the dorm days, when we would jam out to this song all the time. Not that it was an amazing song, but we just liked to horse around and have a good time. So, when this song played I mentioned to Stacey that the song will always remind me of the dorms and the good times we had. She says she knows, and that she requested the song. This still gets me sort of teary eyed that she did this, for it reminded me of the fun times that we had, and how far we had come in life since we were 18/19 years old. It then was the point that made me realize that two of my friends were happily married to each other.
I don't do emotions, but you know what I mean
So, I was going to go through some of the good times I had shared with both Mark and Stacey through the years, but they know them all, so, I'll just end it with this statement....You two rock.....and I am awesome
The heroes were on their way to the church via limo, running slightly behind schedule due to a greasy lunch. The Heroines were getting ready at the church. And I was in charge of two 'preciouses'!
Arrival
After some brews on the limo, and the 'Good Doc' to mintify our breaths, it was time for our entrance into the church. Of course, it was early, and really no one was there yet, so, the entrance wasn't too grand, but, we were there. No one was missing, step 1 of a successful wedding complete! We all get to chill out in some side room for a bit, nothing exciting at all. Then a lady claiming to be the photographer finds me to take the rings for some pictures. Oh lord, I am being tested with these already, but she said my name, so I, without thinking hand them over to her and she disappears. Jon wonders if she isn't some scam artist at stealing wedding rings. I realize that my name is posted in the bulletin's, and one could easily assume the best man has the rings....she didn't have a camera with her or anything! Oh no! I really wasn't too worried, but, wow, I hope I don't give people any ideas on how to ruin a wedding yet get a couple thou' in the process.
The, so called photographer came back, with the rings, and a camera....and made us guys go outside, so, I guess she is legit. She takes some photos, I look fat...but it makes Mark look good, so, I guess.
Mark Has to Pee, Like 6 times
People were filing in now, most of us were mingling with some friends. I become nervous that I have drank several alcoholic beverages and had broken the seal. Thank goodness for an un-Catholic wedding I think to myself. Right before show time, I decide to squeeze what is left, just to make sure.
You know how when you are nervous, you have to go? Well, it is a normal thing, so if you don't know about that feeling, then you are weird. Well, Mark, made a few trips to the bathroom, and I of course find it amusing.
The Ceremony
The pastor tells Mark to take his place, seated just inside the doorway, and the girls make their appearance. We line up, and the guys are off. Dick messed up the positioning at first, but we quickly corrected the problem. Disaster avoided.
We all do the walk thing, grab the girls. Then Mark gets Stacey, she look amazing by the way! This may seem like I am being vague, but, it is a church service, nothing too out of the ordinary is going to happen.
I would like to say, that I feel that I have perfected the lip-syncing of church songs. The key is to actually air the words out.
So, the moment of truth, the pastor is wanting the rings for Mark and Stacey. I have been checking my pockets nonstop for the past hour, even during the first part of the service. I knew they were both there, but now, the hand off had to take place. I reach in my pocket, 1 ring....the other ring was stubborn and wouldn't get in my grasp. People, know this, Stacey has a ridiculously small finger, which leads to a tiny ring, which leads to me struggling to grab it. I did finally get the rings out and to the pastor, but not w/o it looking like I just played a game of pocket pool with myself.
After lighting the candle, Mark gives me a Hezbollah Style Fist Jab...I take this as a cue to brush the dirt off his shoulders as Stacey's train was being fixed. Then after the ceremony, I had to sign my name as a witness for the legality of their wedding license. I signed my name to perfection, thankfully, that was a lot of pressure!
Me and Limos Look Good Together
After the ceremony, the receiving line, and pictures, we hopped in the stretch Explorer for some drinks. Oh, and to go to a park for pictures, but mostly for drinks! First up, naturally, was to pole the bottle of Doctor. A couple passes back and forth, and it was cached pretty quick. I get out the Pucker (which I purchased with the aide of my assistant thanks to Giddee and Mark saying no one likes McGillicuddy). Well, guess what, no one likes pucker! Sara ruined the wedding...jk, we all did our best to take it down like champs. In fact, Jessie, Stacey's sis-in-law, took some of Erik's Jack Daniel Single Barrel and mixed it up with the Pucker for an Apple Jack....nice work Jessie!
We get to the park, and as we are getting out of the limo, someone asks me to hold their bouquet for them, I do, and get out of the limo to.....*snap* a picture being taken of me holding a bouquet...great! The photographer yells (more like tells) some kids to move, we take pics. Sara sucks at the Top Gun high five, Jon and Mark rock it to perfection though (I am starting to become the high five guy when drinking these days).
Now we are heading to the hotel...we are dangerously low on beer, so, when we arrive we all jet up to Sara, Jon, and I's room for the remaining beer. Yes, about 10 or so people in tuxes and dresses, 1 in a wedding dress, jam into this hotel room for some drinking action before the dinner.
Party Time!
After will kill the beer in my room, we go lineup for the introductions. We are walking to the Indiana Jones theme music. I have long been a proponent of the guy getting to choose the music to the Introductions/Grand March, and I had said to Mark some time ago about how at my sister's wedding they did the Star Wars theme, and I also told him that if someday, I ever get married, what I am going to have (I am not telling you people!). This scratched two items from his favorites, and he went with Indiana Jones, which worked out nice, for the new movie came out just a couple weeks previous.
We sit down, and Mark is talking about letting the crowd know that to get them to kiss, they have to make a putt. I volunteer, and when the glasses clanged, I gave the announcement, and decided to give an example of how it is done. I miss the putt, so naturally, I move the ball right next to the hole to cheat...and still miss the putt. Thankfully the photographer caught both misses on film.
What is this man rambling about?
Well, my other main duty, and final, as best man is to give a speech/toast. I had thought about what I wanted to say, but was nervous. I had a couple of stories, a couple of nice moments, and when it came time, Mark tells me no stories and to keep it short. So, I wing it! I honestly am not even sure what all I said, it was a big nervous blurb to me. I did mention how Mark told me that he was 98% sure he was going to marry Stacey after about 2 weeks of dating (I said 99% for a story's sake)...and, really, not sure what else. I can't even remember what I said for the toast. No, I was not wasted, I made it a point to not get wasted before this, I was just running on pure adrenalin, and here I was...two best friends of mine getting married and I am winging it. And then Allison, the Matron of Honor, gives her speech, and she rocks it, but I am pretty much sure that the girl's always out speak the guys at these things, so, I shouldn't feel too bad. Anyways, game on, I have nothing holding me back from getting wasted and having a rocking good time!
Dance, Dance
After consuming several/many beers, I am pumped and ready to hit the dance floor. Giddee and I join for a few slow songs, but our moment of glory came when a swing song came on ( I think it was at least). I proceed to try my best swing moves that was taught to me by some of my Highland gals. Problem: I am drunk and Sara doesn't have any clue what I am about to do. I swing her around a few times, and she gets these looks of fear on her face, which the photographer did a nice job of getting one of these faces of terror. All this dancing causes me to become disheveled, but, no stopping! Jon may have set a record for most dances with another guy.
Actually, I got upset that no one was around, but then went outside and saw everyone enjoying the amazing night. Couldn't have asked for a better day for a wedding. Once it got dark, everyone moved back inside, so, all good.
Actually, when it got dark, we were all instructed to go outside and light some sparklers in two lines. We do, and Mark and Stacey run under the sparklers. Seems dangerous, but it was neat. We light the leftovers and I make one of my patented, ridiculous statements. You know how with sparklers you write your name in the sky? Well:
"Everybody! Write your name, and pretend it's better than mine"
Yeah, I am an idiot.
Fuzzy Memories
None of this is in order I am sure, but, here is how it goes in my head:
So, we go back in, and it is time for the tradition of throwing items at groups of people. Mike catches the garter, which is hilarious for two reasons. 1) He is actually the next of our group of friends getting married, so, that worked 2) Stacey is awesome and had a Brewers garter, Mike is a huge Cub fan. Stef, Guss' girlfriend, and Pub girlfriend of many of us, catches the bouquet, and Mike and her share what I think was supposed to be a slow dance, though, it was, more like a drunken rain dance or something.
Now the dance floor was hopping, I think we brought the house down with some Beastie Boys. Andrea and I shared a dance to Take My Breath Away. I had to take a break from the dancing for a bit though. There were some sandwiches to help with our drunken hunger pangs, and Jon and I get the fantastic idea, to play bloody knuckles. We played for probably 30 minutes or so, it was very random, yet awesome! I should also mention, Mike talked with old people for almost the entire night (sorry Mark and Stacey's families). And Jon struck out swinging with Stacey's cousin, that was amusing to us all.
When it Hit Me
Now, I should preface this with letting you know that I was in a very unique situation. I had known Stacey since the start of Freshman year at UWW, and I didn't hang out with Mark (or know him for that matter) until a couple of years later and certainly became best friends with him. Stacey, would go out and have a good time, but she wasn't the every night bar rat like Mark and I were. When they finally met, everything worked out amazing (obviously)! But, I had the joy of watching two friends of mine fall in love (eww, emotions).
So, the night was winding down and of all the songs for the DJ to play, he plays Andrew W.K. - Party Hard. This song takes me back to the dorm days, when we would jam out to this song all the time. Not that it was an amazing song, but we just liked to horse around and have a good time. So, when this song played I mentioned to Stacey that the song will always remind me of the dorms and the good times we had. She says she knows, and that she requested the song. This still gets me sort of teary eyed that she did this, for it reminded me of the fun times that we had, and how far we had come in life since we were 18/19 years old. It then was the point that made me realize that two of my friends were happily married to each other.
I don't do emotions, but you know what I mean
So, I was going to go through some of the good times I had shared with both Mark and Stacey through the years, but they know them all, so, I'll just end it with this statement....You two rock.....and I am awesome
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Mark & Stacey Lange....Part 1
The Alarm Clock goes off....
It was time for Sara to get up. Girls, during a wedding, have to get up really early so they can have 123,328 bobby pins put in their hair. This was cue for Jon and I to get a complimentary free (redundant?) hot breakfast. I immediately wish America a happy birthday....Jon says he was just about to say that. Mark and Erik wanted us to get them up for said breakfast. They don't seem pleased when I call them...then knock on the door.
Happy 232nd B-Day America
So, we are sitting eating what is to be a poor free breakfast, and most free hotel breakfasts are, and we realize it is the United States of America 232nd birthday, thanks to our collegiate math skills.....yeah. Mark reminds me that I, as best man, am responsible for booze, and water, for the in between the ceremony and the reception. Now, I am not sure if Sara has ruined my first major responsibility by stealing the rings, but I am confident in this alcohol task. I have been known to make sure people drink beer, and or booze...so I was very very confident in this task (though concerned about my lack of monetary funds after the weekend before....the tux...the gift....the gas.....the weekend before....and the weekend before. Next time I am in charge, the bachelor party comes weeks before the wedding (especially if it is in another state), just redick how broke I was.
Woodmans = Cheap Booze
Jon, who declared himself as the Assistant to the Best Man the night before, and I, travel to Woodmans for some beer and booze. Now, let me take you back to wake up time. When we wake up, we ask Sara if she is ok with some Dr. for a shot liquor on the limo. She tells us that no one....NO ONE! likes Dr. McGillicuddys. We didn't believe her, but then Mark tells us during b-fast that he too dislikes the liquor of the gods. Ok, back to Woodmans. Jon and I want to get the 1.75 of the good Doc, but after our two convos with our friends, decide on the small bottle and a bottle of Apple Pucker for all the panzys. We also get a case of Miller and Coors (Lite/Light).
Proud to be an American
Back to the room, hitting the noon hour, not sure any guy is really showered, but there was history to be made. Joey Chestnut, was trying for a repeat of the Nathan's hot dog eating championship. We all respect Kobayashi, but he represents the bombers Pearl Harbor.....Japan, plus he has tendinitis of the jaw. We also are confused/excited by the Wii eating game. The thing is, the time was limited to 10 minutes, compared to the normal 12. Umm, of course, USA BABY! Joey, the hot dog machine, WINS! Today was going to be a good day. Wait, what? Mark asked if I got the water for Stacey...SHIT! I got it afterwards, thanks to a nearby grocery store.
You Ever Seen 5 Grown Men in a Hot Tub together?
No, this didn't actually happen, so, please read on.
After I finally hop in the shower, it has been foretold, by a piece of paper which had times of things to happen...we, as in the guys, were to dress in the same room. This seemed oddly gay to us all, but Mark had us all in the room of future love making (I hope), for some tuxedo dressing. We remembered the pastor told us to eat, so we delayed the dressing for some food. Problem, our procrastinating ways limited us to time. I, being the hotel connoisseur, remembered about the hotel room service, brilliant. Some want mozz sticks, some want wings, some, well no one cared really. I ordered an appetizer sampler, the lady said it would be there shortly....shortly....umm, limo will be here soon......we watch a lady look for a lost golf ball, and a guy go back and forth over the green....no food. I call, WAIT, food is here. We huddle to eat the bounty, and it was good. Someone (forgot who, sorry) asks Mark if he is happy that his final single meal is an appetizer sampler.....I think it is a fitting bachelor type of meal personally. We chow down, as we are not worried about messes as we declare it is ok to climb in the hot tub together, or the dual shower heads (we kid of course). Food down, tuxes on, beer grabbed (forgot about 12 cans in the hustle). We hop in the limo, drink a few beers on the way....followed by a round of the Doctor to make our breath minty and fresh.
OH, FYI, Sara did not steal the rings...I was now in possession of more than my life! Stay tuned....
It was time for Sara to get up. Girls, during a wedding, have to get up really early so they can have 123,328 bobby pins put in their hair. This was cue for Jon and I to get a complimentary free (redundant?) hot breakfast. I immediately wish America a happy birthday....Jon says he was just about to say that. Mark and Erik wanted us to get them up for said breakfast. They don't seem pleased when I call them...then knock on the door.
Happy 232nd B-Day America
So, we are sitting eating what is to be a poor free breakfast, and most free hotel breakfasts are, and we realize it is the United States of America 232nd birthday, thanks to our collegiate math skills.....yeah. Mark reminds me that I, as best man, am responsible for booze, and water, for the in between the ceremony and the reception. Now, I am not sure if Sara has ruined my first major responsibility by stealing the rings, but I am confident in this alcohol task. I have been known to make sure people drink beer, and or booze...so I was very very confident in this task (though concerned about my lack of monetary funds after the weekend before....the tux...the gift....the gas.....the weekend before....and the weekend before. Next time I am in charge, the bachelor party comes weeks before the wedding (especially if it is in another state), just redick how broke I was.
Woodmans = Cheap Booze
Jon, who declared himself as the Assistant to the Best Man the night before, and I, travel to Woodmans for some beer and booze. Now, let me take you back to wake up time. When we wake up, we ask Sara if she is ok with some Dr. for a shot liquor on the limo. She tells us that no one....NO ONE! likes Dr. McGillicuddys. We didn't believe her, but then Mark tells us during b-fast that he too dislikes the liquor of the gods. Ok, back to Woodmans. Jon and I want to get the 1.75 of the good Doc, but after our two convos with our friends, decide on the small bottle and a bottle of Apple Pucker for all the panzys. We also get a case of Miller and Coors (Lite/Light).
Proud to be an American
Back to the room, hitting the noon hour, not sure any guy is really showered, but there was history to be made. Joey Chestnut, was trying for a repeat of the Nathan's hot dog eating championship. We all respect Kobayashi, but he represents the bombers Pearl Harbor.....Japan, plus he has tendinitis of the jaw. We also are confused/excited by the Wii eating game. The thing is, the time was limited to 10 minutes, compared to the normal 12. Umm, of course, USA BABY! Joey, the hot dog machine, WINS! Today was going to be a good day. Wait, what? Mark asked if I got the water for Stacey...SHIT! I got it afterwards, thanks to a nearby grocery store.
You Ever Seen 5 Grown Men in a Hot Tub together?
No, this didn't actually happen, so, please read on.
After I finally hop in the shower, it has been foretold, by a piece of paper which had times of things to happen...we, as in the guys, were to dress in the same room. This seemed oddly gay to us all, but Mark had us all in the room of future love making (I hope), for some tuxedo dressing. We remembered the pastor told us to eat, so we delayed the dressing for some food. Problem, our procrastinating ways limited us to time. I, being the hotel connoisseur, remembered about the hotel room service, brilliant. Some want mozz sticks, some want wings, some, well no one cared really. I ordered an appetizer sampler, the lady said it would be there shortly....shortly....umm, limo will be here soon......we watch a lady look for a lost golf ball, and a guy go back and forth over the green....no food. I call, WAIT, food is here. We huddle to eat the bounty, and it was good. Someone (forgot who, sorry) asks Mark if he is happy that his final single meal is an appetizer sampler.....I think it is a fitting bachelor type of meal personally. We chow down, as we are not worried about messes as we declare it is ok to climb in the hot tub together, or the dual shower heads (we kid of course). Food down, tuxes on, beer grabbed (forgot about 12 cans in the hustle). We hop in the limo, drink a few beers on the way....followed by a round of the Doctor to make our breath minty and fresh.
OH, FYI, Sara did not steal the rings...I was now in possession of more than my life! Stay tuned....
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Mark & Stacey's Wedding - Prologue
July 3rd, 2008
The day before the big day. Kusch and I were to arrive in Appleton to pick up our tuxedos that were sure to make us look like...we were dressed in tuxedos. Anyhow, we had to leave early in the morning to make sure we arrived on time, and we had to pick up one Sara Jane in Grafton. The trip was, alright, nothing too epic here, but we did eat Atlanta Bread and I rather enjoyed it. Jon and I also made fun of the south a lot...that was neat.
So, we arrive and my pants were designed for nonfat people and Jon's coat was just not right, so we would have to come back at a later time, but whaaaaaat to dooooo for hours. The girls were all on a girl lunch, and wouldn't let Jon attend because apparently it was for some club, of girls.....or something. To the point! The original plan was for Mark, Jon, and I to go golfing, but it was sort of warm, Kusch was hungover, I was tired, and really, we just didn't want to. How were we to spend Mark's final afternoon of singledom? If you answered drink, or go to nearby Beansnappers, you are WAY wrong, we had ourselves a Jr. High type of day.
Fun w/o Drinking?? It can happen to you too if you follow your dreams
We kept the golf idea alive, but miniaturized the whole idea. Well, we didn't have the idea, or miniature any golf course, but there was a mini-golf course nearby and there was no stopping us from going. The course was intense (not really), for there was the possibility of losing your ball on the first hole (nope, these balls floated...miracle style). It was actually a lot of fun and we were all golfing about the same, I was consistently average and Jon & Mark had some hot streaks with a blow up here and there....this was going to be a tight one. The winner is....more on that later.
After we finished up the mini golf, we went to get some tokens for the batting cages (the place was a whole funland center). This was a lot of fun, I learned that I need batting gloves when swinging bats with little grip left on them. I also learned that I can consistently ground out to 3rd when hitting a 60 mph fastball. I also know that Jon can hit 80 mph.
The next stop at the Badgerland Sports Complex (I think) was the Go-Karts. It has been a long time since I have been in a Go-Kart, and frankly was nervous I wouldn't fit. I did, thankfully but I think I almost strangled myself with the seat belt. We all talk a bit of trash, and after we had some instructions to not horse around and ram into each other, we were off. Don't get me wrong, but every cart seemed to move exactly the same speed and we stayed the same distance apart, sort of, anti-climatic. We did at the end get to lap a woman, that was neat. It was fun still, and we had another ticket, so we hop back on. This time, there will be an epic moment. We were off, I was trailing Mark but was right on his ass, drafting, mind you. Then my moment came. Up ahead I spotted a woman and her kid in a dual kart, and they were moving slow. I was able to sneak on an inside corner getting to the side of Mark and then wham, he had to slow down for the slow lady. MWA HA HA! Eat that groom to be!
I should also note that we also all played some Skiball and other games that give you tickets. I suggested that we just give our tickets to some kids, but Jon snapped me out of my idiocy and we joined forces to get a hackey sack and TWO sets of vampire teeth (totally designed for kids by the way, but Jon and I still rocked the shit out of them)!
Finally we return to Stacey's parent's house to pick up Sara and drop off Mark, then we are OFF...to the hotel to check in. We all get ourselves looking mighty fine and once again are OFF...to the church for rehearsal. This is where I am handed the rings to protect and keep.....because apparently Mark and Stacey think I am responsible.
Guys, note, if you want to scare your future wife at the rehearsal, just laugh hysterically while practicing the vows. Good one Mark (though those in the crowd said he seemed the laughs were to hold back tears). I pretty much nail my practice runs because I am neat.
AND WE'RE OFF...to dinner at Frattello's. A really neat place right on the river. The dinner was put on by Mark's parents and I want to send a thank you. The menu was filled with fancy stuff and a cheeseburger. Mark, gets the cheeseburger (to be fair, he got it for the waffle fries, which were AMAZING). A few of the people got a blueberry beer, and we all decide that watching blueberries go up and down with the beer bubbles is indeed neat.
After dinner was over, Mark and Stacey stood up to say a few words about everyone in the wedding party, and it was very touching, I am being honest, I thank you guys a lot! Also, the mug and the jug of beer was awesome! While at the table we discussed what was to take place for the evening. Were we to get drunk, go to nearby Beansnappers...NO!
AND WE'RE OFF (sorry)....to the hotel pool. Erik (Mark's brother) and I had poorly planned and had to make a Kohls run for some board shorts. After quickly getting ready we head down to, what seemed to be paradise (or just a neat hotel pool). There was a slide, which we of course all slid down 'illegally' . The centerpiece was the 3-way basketball hoop, or a pole that had three hoops right in the dead center of the pool. The hoops were really small and hard to make because they were tall as well. Of course, we form teams. Jon and I vs Mark and Erik....winner was first to 5 (really hard to make), any of the hoops counted. This was really epic, the battle went on for hours, well, hour....maybe not even, and injuries were to be had (Erik developed a blister on his foot). In the end it was Jon's pure shot and my height advantage which really, yeah, really wasn't fair. Still it was 5-4.
It was time for bed, I proceed to tell Sara that if she steals the rings that I will be very upset at her and she will have ruined the wedding.
Stay tuned to see if Sara steals the rings and ruins the wedding.....oh, Mark won mini-golf 50 to Jon and I's 51
The day before the big day. Kusch and I were to arrive in Appleton to pick up our tuxedos that were sure to make us look like...we were dressed in tuxedos. Anyhow, we had to leave early in the morning to make sure we arrived on time, and we had to pick up one Sara Jane in Grafton. The trip was, alright, nothing too epic here, but we did eat Atlanta Bread and I rather enjoyed it. Jon and I also made fun of the south a lot...that was neat.
So, we arrive and my pants were designed for nonfat people and Jon's coat was just not right, so we would have to come back at a later time, but whaaaaaat to dooooo for hours. The girls were all on a girl lunch, and wouldn't let Jon attend because apparently it was for some club, of girls.....or something. To the point! The original plan was for Mark, Jon, and I to go golfing, but it was sort of warm, Kusch was hungover, I was tired, and really, we just didn't want to. How were we to spend Mark's final afternoon of singledom? If you answered drink, or go to nearby Beansnappers, you are WAY wrong, we had ourselves a Jr. High type of day.
Fun w/o Drinking?? It can happen to you too if you follow your dreams
We kept the golf idea alive, but miniaturized the whole idea. Well, we didn't have the idea, or miniature any golf course, but there was a mini-golf course nearby and there was no stopping us from going. The course was intense (not really), for there was the possibility of losing your ball on the first hole (nope, these balls floated...miracle style). It was actually a lot of fun and we were all golfing about the same, I was consistently average and Jon & Mark had some hot streaks with a blow up here and there....this was going to be a tight one. The winner is....more on that later.
After we finished up the mini golf, we went to get some tokens for the batting cages (the place was a whole funland center). This was a lot of fun, I learned that I need batting gloves when swinging bats with little grip left on them. I also learned that I can consistently ground out to 3rd when hitting a 60 mph fastball. I also know that Jon can hit 80 mph.
The next stop at the Badgerland Sports Complex (I think) was the Go-Karts. It has been a long time since I have been in a Go-Kart, and frankly was nervous I wouldn't fit. I did, thankfully but I think I almost strangled myself with the seat belt. We all talk a bit of trash, and after we had some instructions to not horse around and ram into each other, we were off. Don't get me wrong, but every cart seemed to move exactly the same speed and we stayed the same distance apart, sort of, anti-climatic. We did at the end get to lap a woman, that was neat. It was fun still, and we had another ticket, so we hop back on. This time, there will be an epic moment. We were off, I was trailing Mark but was right on his ass, drafting, mind you. Then my moment came. Up ahead I spotted a woman and her kid in a dual kart, and they were moving slow. I was able to sneak on an inside corner getting to the side of Mark and then wham, he had to slow down for the slow lady. MWA HA HA! Eat that groom to be!
I should also note that we also all played some Skiball and other games that give you tickets. I suggested that we just give our tickets to some kids, but Jon snapped me out of my idiocy and we joined forces to get a hackey sack and TWO sets of vampire teeth (totally designed for kids by the way, but Jon and I still rocked the shit out of them)!
Finally we return to Stacey's parent's house to pick up Sara and drop off Mark, then we are OFF...to the hotel to check in. We all get ourselves looking mighty fine and once again are OFF...to the church for rehearsal. This is where I am handed the rings to protect and keep.....because apparently Mark and Stacey think I am responsible.
Guys, note, if you want to scare your future wife at the rehearsal, just laugh hysterically while practicing the vows. Good one Mark (though those in the crowd said he seemed the laughs were to hold back tears). I pretty much nail my practice runs because I am neat.
AND WE'RE OFF...to dinner at Frattello's. A really neat place right on the river. The dinner was put on by Mark's parents and I want to send a thank you. The menu was filled with fancy stuff and a cheeseburger. Mark, gets the cheeseburger (to be fair, he got it for the waffle fries, which were AMAZING). A few of the people got a blueberry beer, and we all decide that watching blueberries go up and down with the beer bubbles is indeed neat.
After dinner was over, Mark and Stacey stood up to say a few words about everyone in the wedding party, and it was very touching, I am being honest, I thank you guys a lot! Also, the mug and the jug of beer was awesome! While at the table we discussed what was to take place for the evening. Were we to get drunk, go to nearby Beansnappers...NO!
AND WE'RE OFF (sorry)....to the hotel pool. Erik (Mark's brother) and I had poorly planned and had to make a Kohls run for some board shorts. After quickly getting ready we head down to, what seemed to be paradise (or just a neat hotel pool). There was a slide, which we of course all slid down 'illegally' . The centerpiece was the 3-way basketball hoop, or a pole that had three hoops right in the dead center of the pool. The hoops were really small and hard to make because they were tall as well. Of course, we form teams. Jon and I vs Mark and Erik....winner was first to 5 (really hard to make), any of the hoops counted. This was really epic, the battle went on for hours, well, hour....maybe not even, and injuries were to be had (Erik developed a blister on his foot). In the end it was Jon's pure shot and my height advantage which really, yeah, really wasn't fair. Still it was 5-4.
It was time for bed, I proceed to tell Sara that if she steals the rings that I will be very upset at her and she will have ruined the wedding.
Stay tuned to see if Sara steals the rings and ruins the wedding.....oh, Mark won mini-golf 50 to Jon and I's 51
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Mark's Bachelor Party
Jake summed up this evening pretty well in his blog. Well worth the read:
CLICK HERE FOR STORY
Up next, Mark and Stacey's wedding
CLICK HERE FOR STORY
Up next, Mark and Stacey's wedding
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Inner Thoughts and Latest News - #1
7/1/08 - Ok, so I was managing my posts, and came across this one that I was slowly working on throughout last year. Sort of forgot about it, but I don't want my efforts (how poorly they may be) go to waste, so enjoy.
For those that know me, you know that my mind is sporadic and random. I figured, what a better way to capture my often fleeting thoughts than with a blog. This blog will last until I feel it too long. This may take a week, two, maybe months. I will try to date everything and comment on whether or not I was drinking or not. This is sort of for myself though as well. I also will probably put my latest news in here as well. So...enjoy:
4/25/07 - In North Carolina - Chapel Hill
- Strangest thing just happened to me when trying to buy some brew. I am staying at the Holiday Inn with UNC theme, it is pretty neat,a nd I ate dinner at the Time Out Bar and Grill here at the hotel. I had a few drinks, but was sad that they had no local microbrews on tap, so I had some Sam Adams White Ale, having never tried it before (I like wheat based beers). I was intrigued that the bar's main special was bottles of Natural Light for $2.50....of course I thought to myself, that is no bargain at all...end of story, or is it? Anyhow, after lubing my throat up, I thought I would grab some more beer for the hotel, after all the Brewers just lost to the Cubs, and I needed some support (haha). I look up the closest liquor store, just a mere .2 miles (this is a college town after all). I roll up, walk in, walk around, look confused, walk around again, read every door...NO BEER!?!? The guy at the desk senses my confusion and asks me what I am looking for, then looks at me like I am an idiot when I ask for beer. He tells me that I have to buy beer at a grocery store or convenience store, then tells me that a grocery store is just down the block. So, a liquor store with no beer...a liquor store, literally. I go to this grocery store, which I should mention was the worst smelling place I have ever, EVER, been....like no one there wore deodorant, terrible. Anyhow, I walk around, find the micro brews, good, find a huge wine selection, good...walk, walk......where the hell is the normal beer? I grab a 6er of micro brew because I like to try the local flavor (saddened to find out I grabbed a Colorado beer). I ask the cashier, where they keep normal beer, like a case of Miller or something. He looks puzzled and says they have never sold that, maybe a case of Pabst one time. I comment that I have just been to a liquor store with no beer and a grocery store with only wine and microbrews. After checking my ID, he says "yeah, you definitely aren't from around here. TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE!! Ok, normal beer, nice, what do I want.....I glance at the window sticker special..$9.54 12 pack of Natural Light....ok, this town has an infatuation with quite possibly the worst beer ever. 6-er of Coors Light, and I am out.
-Ben Sheets was saddened to hear about his DL buddy Mark Prior being out for the season, and quickly removed himself from the game in hopes of joining him.
4/26/07
-After driving around the south enough times, I am officially sick of seeing the damned Confederate flag on cars...or anywhere for that matter. From now on, I roll my eyes whenever i see it. Stupid white trash, racist, retards.
For those that know me, you know that my mind is sporadic and random. I figured, what a better way to capture my often fleeting thoughts than with a blog. This blog will last until I feel it too long. This may take a week, two, maybe months. I will try to date everything and comment on whether or not I was drinking or not. This is sort of for myself though as well. I also will probably put my latest news in here as well. So...enjoy:
4/25/07 - In North Carolina - Chapel Hill
- Strangest thing just happened to me when trying to buy some brew. I am staying at the Holiday Inn with UNC theme, it is pretty neat,a nd I ate dinner at the Time Out Bar and Grill here at the hotel. I had a few drinks, but was sad that they had no local microbrews on tap, so I had some Sam Adams White Ale, having never tried it before (I like wheat based beers). I was intrigued that the bar's main special was bottles of Natural Light for $2.50....of course I thought to myself, that is no bargain at all...end of story, or is it? Anyhow, after lubing my throat up, I thought I would grab some more beer for the hotel, after all the Brewers just lost to the Cubs, and I needed some support (haha). I look up the closest liquor store, just a mere .2 miles (this is a college town after all). I roll up, walk in, walk around, look confused, walk around again, read every door...NO BEER!?!? The guy at the desk senses my confusion and asks me what I am looking for, then looks at me like I am an idiot when I ask for beer. He tells me that I have to buy beer at a grocery store or convenience store, then tells me that a grocery store is just down the block. So, a liquor store with no beer...a liquor store, literally. I go to this grocery store, which I should mention was the worst smelling place I have ever, EVER, been....like no one there wore deodorant, terrible. Anyhow, I walk around, find the micro brews, good, find a huge wine selection, good...walk, walk......where the hell is the normal beer? I grab a 6er of micro brew because I like to try the local flavor (saddened to find out I grabbed a Colorado beer). I ask the cashier, where they keep normal beer, like a case of Miller or something. He looks puzzled and says they have never sold that, maybe a case of Pabst one time. I comment that I have just been to a liquor store with no beer and a grocery store with only wine and microbrews. After checking my ID, he says "yeah, you definitely aren't from around here. TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE!! Ok, normal beer, nice, what do I want.....I glance at the window sticker special..$9.54 12 pack of Natural Light....ok, this town has an infatuation with quite possibly the worst beer ever. 6-er of Coors Light, and I am out.
-Ben Sheets was saddened to hear about his DL buddy Mark Prior being out for the season, and quickly removed himself from the game in hopes of joining him.
4/26/07
-After driving around the south enough times, I am officially sick of seeing the damned Confederate flag on cars...or anywhere for that matter. From now on, I roll my eyes whenever i see it. Stupid white trash, racist, retards.
Sorry, been sort of busy, back to it
6/15/07 - Cottage Grove
-Quotable - Tina - I am not even that drunk...I can still swallow
6/19/07 - Dallas
-This city is stupid to drive in
-Stupid Headline alert: "Missing pregnant woman was excited about baby"
This is of course a sad story, but thanks for letting me know she was excited to have a baby....I would assume most expecting parents are.
- I heard on the radio today that Paris Hilton is reading self help books.....thanks radio for wasting my time.
July 31 - Atlanta
-It is really nice to hang out with Giddee, it has only been a month since last seeing her, but it oddly feels like longer. Anyhow, I was telling her of some stories of past travels, she told me I should keep a journal because of some funny stories I have encountered, which I have. I think this is a good idea, I might buy a notebook and write a journal when on the road. I will then move the good stuff to my blog, this of course reminded me it has been a while since I have posted a blog because I broke my personal laptop.
-Guess what this week is on the Discovery Channel...Shark Week. Honestly, I am sick of sharks, do something else, Lion Week......Tiger Week, hell I would watch Seal week! I am learnign for the 3234th year now that sharks bite humans from time to time, but mostly will not, yada yada yada
- I hate Atlanta traffic, it is so busy at all times, and downtown has like, 32 lanes on each side. The funny thing is, I seem to be the overly aggressive one, everyone is so scared to merge until they have like a 12 car length space
Reason 323 why I hate Florida
• Florida optical-scan voting machines still flawed, report finds
Seriously Florida, it is your messed up voting that got us GW in the first place. You are trying to get too technical. No other state seems to have problems. Plus, don't half of your citizens probably have glaucoma or something because they are so damn old?
- Giddee and I brought up the "Greatest Story Ever Told" yet again, making me truly believe that our group St. Louis trip could honestly be, the greatest story ever told.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Myrtle Beach 2008
A Prelude
So, while Mike and Andrea were on their cruise in April, touring stops in the Caribbean, I got really jealous and ticked off that I wasn't on a beach somewhere. For those who know my line of work, I often find myself near an ocean and make it a point to head to the ocean if possible. The problem with that is, I am still on a trip for work, not vacation. I wanted a week of pure vacation, and to share said vacation with someone or some people.
I jokingly send an e-mail to Kristen saying let's go on a trip. She, every bit as frustrated with our company, says she will as long as I am not joking. I was, but, here was my chance for a trip, I agree and we begin to discuss location. I have a free flight and plenty of Holiday Inn points to try to make this a cheap trip. Even though I am sick of Florida, when it comes to just wanting to lay on a beach and then have some night life...Florida is king. If I went, it would the Ft. Lauderdale region. I've been there, nice weather, nice beaches, good nightlife. However, after looking up flight prices for Kristen (I would've been willing to pitch in), it was determined we should go somewhere driveable. At this time, gas was a cheap $3.60ish (barf) and with my Ion getting 33-35 mpg Hwy, it would be affordable. We both conclude that Myrtle Beach, SC would be a fun trip. South Carolina is one state I had never been to, and well, she has been to few places...and we both had people tell us it is a neat area. We decide the week, 6/15-6/20.
An Epic Journey Begins
Early on Sunday, June 15 we pack my car and set off on the open road. Knowing we have approximately a 17 hour trip, we decided to get little more than half way there and call it a night. Anyways, you know when you start a long trip, you are excited. You have been waiting for a month, and now it is time. the problem though, is there is a ridiculously long drive ahead of you and the thrill wears off, right about when you hit the Chicago traffic and its never ending construction. And for anyone who has driven South into Indiana from Chicago will know how krazy (yes), y
ou will go after you see 500 straight Krazy Kaplans billboards. KRAZY KAPLANS is a fireworks store and I know they have 3 for 1 deals. The funny thing is, right before you get to the KRAZY KAPLANS exit, there is a billboard for another fireworks store, saying 3 for 1 deal, next exit. I am a spiteful person, and if I was going for fireworks, would totally stop at the 'other' store. KRAAAAAAAZY
You know what state sucks...Indiana. yeah, enough said.
We briefly touch Ohio in the Cincy area, then back into Indiana because apparently the state won't leave me alone. But shortly after we get into Kentucky, we are officially in the south now. Let me tell you something. Driving through KY and TN is scary. Should it be, probably not. But I had a conversation with Matt, Jake, and Jon on how Wisconsin could be one of the more stereotyped states, but not nearly as bad as KY and TN. The people you meet there never really help their cause either. Back to the point. After 10 grueling hours (I drove the whole way for some reason) we arrive at the hotel in Caryville, TN, just north of Knoxville. It was a really nice Hampton Inn, I was impressed. We, immediately crash.
Myrtle Beach!
After 7 more hours of driving we arrive at the hotel, Coral Beach Resort. I have my $500 worth of hotel credit card I can use thanks to my many stays at hotels, I use said cards for a total of $130 stay for a whole week (noice) and then we are off to the room.
The hotel was pretty cool actually, and I was not exactly sure what I was going to get. They boast like 10 pools, lazy river, sports pub, comedian, magic acts, beach side bar and grill, bowling alley, convenience store, breakfast buffet area.....well, the amenities are plentiful to say the least. When we opened our door to our room, the first thing is, it is a large room and we have a patio with a view of the ocean. It said angle-view, but it is pretty good!
After unpacking and filling the fridge with our beer and booze, we decide to get some food. On our way in there was this nice looking Mexican restaraunt. It was tasty, the margs were delish, and that is that story. The problem though is, after spending all day in a car, then eating tons of Mexican and drinking a couple margs, we were beat! She tried to drink another beer, I drank like 3 more...but the will to get drunk was with neither of us. We decide to walk around the hotel and check out what it has to offer. What we found was that the bar next to the beach has karaoke every night.....definitely be hitting that up later.
Tuesday AM, we go get some breakfast then make a break for the ocean. I grab a couple of beach chairs they had set up, we lay down for about 30 seconds before we decide we have to go in. The water was perfect, the waves were large enough to have fun, but small enough to not knock you around. The salt, was, well, extremely painful on the eyes, but eventually we got used to it. After a couple hours of fun in the sun (and after the lifeguard kicked us off the chairs because we were supposed to pay for them, it was lunch time, and poor Kristen had never been to a Sonic, so yeah, guess where we went. She, like everyone else, falls in love with their slushies....so f'ing amazing! When we got back it looked like some rain (storms were to move in), so we mixed up some cocktails in the room, sat on the porch, and watched as the storm moved in and out. I will say, watching lightning over the ocean is a really neat thing. After everything settled down and the sun came back up, we went down to the beach bar and grill, had a burger, grabbed a table and watched as the karaoke began to sound up the night. Both of us were feeling pretty good and we started playing a game called, "Would you do that person". The idea of the game is to say if you would, well, do the person (according to gender) who came on stage to sing. There were different levels too. "I would do that person sober/buzzed/drunk/blackout/never". Now, many of these people were southerners, and well, rednecks to put it nicely. If you know a thing or two about redneck people, it is that the girls can be oddly attractive, older women never are because eventually the sun's harsh rays and the years of smoking eventually take their toll....and all the guys look like white trash. So, I decided I won the game, as I would do more people. We then take a drunk dip in the ocean.
Hard Rock Park
Wednesday we decided we were going to go to this brand new amusement park that just opened up, Hard Rock Park. Kristen is a big Led Zeppelin fan (I also enjoy), and the parks main attraction was, Led Zeppelin the ride! After we finally got out of the main room that had two unfunny guys pretending to do Wayne's World, you started your 'experience'. It moves you into a room that starts playing 'Whole Lotta Love' music video. The doors then open and you proceed onto the ride, the whole time the music is still playing. once seated, they start you up the lift, and one really cool feature is that the cars have speakers in them, so you are jamming to Zeppelin as you are pulling some serious G's around 6 awesome loops.
There was this Moody Blues ride, and well, I know what it is like to trip on acid. It was actually pretty neat. They give you some 3D Chronograph glasses and instantly all this trippy painting pops out at you. While waiting in line there is this tunnel that spins around you with lights. I had to take off the glasses and close my eyes because motion sickness was rapidly setting in on me. Hard to explain the ride, it moved slow, the glasses made everything 3D and, it was a simulated acid trip to put it best.
The Eagles - Life In the Fast Lane, Coaster had the same speaker set up, but the ride was completely gay, as was the rest of the rides they had. It is a new park, and I am sure they will be adding rides as years go by. It was neat, and we watched a BMX show, but overall, I would wait a few years when they get some more rides. they do have a large stage and have acts play every night too, but, we had to go drink some more as the 95 degree sun was making us thirsty.
Round 2
Well, a nap was first. All day walking in the heat, wore us out. BUT! we woke up and debated going to the bar scene downtown. We decided against it, as it cost more money, wastes time, and is just a hassle. We had so much fun the karaoke night, we decide to do it again. We order some pizza for dinner then head down. This time we had a spot at the bar and first this old dude buys us a beer, nice. Then this guy I am sitting next to asks if we want their bucket of long island. I agree only because he offered us this because his wife was cutting him off the sauce for the night. He tells me there is something added......this scares me, but I proceed to drink the free booze. Kristen and I tried to sneak this guy shots everytime his wife got up, but she has to be the fastest woman bathroom goer ever! Anyways this guy tells me since I am in SC, I am a southerner now. I agree and talk with my best southern accent I have, hoping he wouldn't punch me....he laughed thankfully.
Now, this old lady had warned Kristen about some guy making a 'mess' in the women's bathroom. So, as she was walking to the bathroom later, she was joking with some guy about what she might find and told him the story of the 'mess'. The guy laughs and admits that it was him. Apparently he had to go bad, and the men's room was full.
Now, I opened a tab this night. We only bought 6 beers, but we were doing shots. Kristen likes shots, so we did all sorts of things, JD, cherry bombs, who knows what else. I told Kristen to put drinks on my tab, but she apparently paid for all the shots w/o me knowing. So, when I closed my tab I was astonished that none of the shots were on my tab, just 6 beers. i proceed to tip $7.50 for 6 beers thinking he gave us free shots. dummy!
Then things get bad. I wake up, in the bed, throwing up all over the floor next to me. Spend some time in the bathroom, go back to bed. I wake up to find my pleasant treat I left next to me bed. Get sick again, and for the 3rd time in my life, throw up the morning after. This day was officially going to be shot! Well, maybe not, I start to feel better and we go to the lazy river, but after about an hour lounging in the river, I feel bad again. We decide I need food. We go to this homestyle looking place, boasting they are American owned.....umm, ok. The lady said all the food is home-cooked. I am not sure what that means, as we are in a restaurant, did they make it from home then transport it...that would be gross. Well, that was a joke, this next line is not a joke. Worst food I have ever eaten, and we'll leave it at that. Here is a picture, DON'T EAT AT THE COUNTRY KITCHEN IN MYRTLE BEACH (not part of the chain)
Finally at night I feel better. We decide to take it easy as we decide to drive straight through on Friday. We went to a nice steakhouse, shot some mini-golf and called it a night. (How come mini-golf places dye their water kool-aid blue?)
Are We There Yet?
nothing of note, just a long, looooooooong, drive home.
So, while Mike and Andrea were on their cruise in April, touring stops in the Caribbean, I got really jealous and ticked off that I wasn't on a beach somewhere. For those who know my line of work, I often find myself near an ocean and make it a point to head to the ocean if possible. The problem with that is, I am still on a trip for work, not vacation. I wanted a week of pure vacation, and to share said vacation with someone or some people.
I jokingly send an e-mail to Kristen saying let's go on a trip. She, every bit as frustrated with our company, says she will as long as I am not joking. I was, but, here was my chance for a trip, I agree and we begin to discuss location. I have a free flight and plenty of Holiday Inn points to try to make this a cheap trip. Even though I am sick of Florida, when it comes to just wanting to lay on a beach and then have some night life...Florida is king. If I went, it would the Ft. Lauderdale region. I've been there, nice weather, nice beaches, good nightlife. However, after looking up flight prices for Kristen (I would've been willing to pitch in), it was determined we should go somewhere driveable. At this time, gas was a cheap $3.60ish (barf) and with my Ion getting 33-35 mpg Hwy, it would be affordable. We both conclude that Myrtle Beach, SC would be a fun trip. South Carolina is one state I had never been to, and well, she has been to few places...and we both had people tell us it is a neat area. We decide the week, 6/15-6/20.
An Epic Journey Begins
Early on Sunday, June 15 we pack my car and set off on the open road. Knowing we have approximately a 17 hour trip, we decided to get little more than half way there and call it a night. Anyways, you know when you start a long trip, you are excited. You have been waiting for a month, and now it is time. the problem though, is there is a ridiculously long drive ahead of you and the thrill wears off, right about when you hit the Chicago traffic and its never ending construction. And for anyone who has driven South into Indiana from Chicago will know how krazy (yes), y
ou will go after you see 500 straight Krazy Kaplans billboards. KRAZY KAPLANS is a fireworks store and I know they have 3 for 1 deals. The funny thing is, right before you get to the KRAZY KAPLANS exit, there is a billboard for another fireworks store, saying 3 for 1 deal, next exit. I am a spiteful person, and if I was going for fireworks, would totally stop at the 'other' store. KRAAAAAAAZYYou know what state sucks...Indiana. yeah, enough said.
We briefly touch Ohio in the Cincy area, then back into Indiana because apparently the state won't leave me alone. But shortly after we get into Kentucky, we are officially in the south now. Let me tell you something. Driving through KY and TN is scary. Should it be, probably not. But I had a conversation with Matt, Jake, and Jon on how Wisconsin could be one of the more stereotyped states, but not nearly as bad as KY and TN. The people you meet there never really help their cause either. Back to the point. After 10 grueling hours (I drove the whole way for some reason) we arrive at the hotel in Caryville, TN, just north of Knoxville. It was a really nice Hampton Inn, I was impressed. We, immediately crash.
Myrtle Beach!
After 7 more hours of driving we arrive at the hotel, Coral Beach Resort. I have my $500 worth of hotel credit card I can use thanks to my many stays at hotels, I use said cards for a total of $130 stay for a whole week (noice) and then we are off to the room.
The hotel was pretty cool actually, and I was not exactly sure what I was going to get. They boast like 10 pools, lazy river, sports pub, comedian, magic acts, beach side bar and grill, bowling alley, convenience store, breakfast buffet area.....well, the amenities are plentiful to say the least. When we opened our door to our room, the first thing is, it is a large room and we have a patio with a view of the ocean. It said angle-view, but it is pretty good!
After unpacking and filling the fridge with our beer and booze, we decide to get some food. On our way in there was this nice looking Mexican restaraunt. It was tasty, the margs were delish, and that is that story. The problem though is, after spending all day in a car, then eating tons of Mexican and drinking a couple margs, we were beat! She tried to drink another beer, I drank like 3 more...but the will to get drunk was with neither of us. We decide to walk around the hotel and check out what it has to offer. What we found was that the bar next to the beach has karaoke every night.....definitely be hitting that up later.
Tuesday AM, we go get some breakfast then make a break for the ocean. I grab a couple of beach chairs they had set up, we lay down for about 30 seconds before we decide we have to go in. The water was perfect, the waves were large enough to have fun, but small enough to not knock you around. The salt, was, well, extremely painful on the eyes, but eventually we got used to it. After a couple hours of fun in the sun (and after the lifeguard kicked us off the chairs because we were supposed to pay for them, it was lunch time, and poor Kristen had never been to a Sonic, so yeah, guess where we went. She, like everyone else, falls in love with their slushies....so f'ing amazing! When we got back it looked like some rain (storms were to move in), so we mixed up some cocktails in the room, sat on the porch, and watched as the storm moved in and out. I will say, watching lightning over the ocean is a really neat thing. After everything settled down and the sun came back up, we went down to the beach bar and grill, had a burger, grabbed a table and watched as the karaoke began to sound up the night. Both of us were feeling pretty good and we started playing a game called, "Would you do that person". The idea of the game is to say if you would, well, do the person (according to gender) who came on stage to sing. There were different levels too. "I would do that person sober/buzzed/drunk/blackout/never". Now, many of these people were southerners, and well, rednecks to put it nicely. If you know a thing or two about redneck people, it is that the girls can be oddly attractive, older women never are because eventually the sun's harsh rays and the years of smoking eventually take their toll....and all the guys look like white trash. So, I decided I won the game, as I would do more people. We then take a drunk dip in the ocean.
Hard Rock Park
Wednesday we decided we were going to go to this brand new amusement park that just opened up, Hard Rock Park. Kristen is a big Led Zeppelin fan (I also enjoy), and the parks main attraction was, Led Zeppelin the ride! After we finally got out of the main room that had two unfunny guys pretending to do Wayne's World, you started your 'experience'. It moves you into a room that starts playing 'Whole Lotta Love' music video. The doors then open and you proceed onto the ride, the whole time the music is still playing. once seated, they start you up the lift, and one really cool feature is that the cars have speakers in them, so you are jamming to Zeppelin as you are pulling some serious G's around 6 awesome loops.
There was this Moody Blues ride, and well, I know what it is like to trip on acid. It was actually pretty neat. They give you some 3D Chronograph glasses and instantly all this trippy painting pops out at you. While waiting in line there is this tunnel that spins around you with lights. I had to take off the glasses and close my eyes because motion sickness was rapidly setting in on me. Hard to explain the ride, it moved slow, the glasses made everything 3D and, it was a simulated acid trip to put it best.
The Eagles - Life In the Fast Lane, Coaster had the same speaker set up, but the ride was completely gay, as was the rest of the rides they had. It is a new park, and I am sure they will be adding rides as years go by. It was neat, and we watched a BMX show, but overall, I would wait a few years when they get some more rides. they do have a large stage and have acts play every night too, but, we had to go drink some more as the 95 degree sun was making us thirsty.
Round 2
Well, a nap was first. All day walking in the heat, wore us out. BUT! we woke up and debated going to the bar scene downtown. We decided against it, as it cost more money, wastes time, and is just a hassle. We had so much fun the karaoke night, we decide to do it again. We order some pizza for dinner then head down. This time we had a spot at the bar and first this old dude buys us a beer, nice. Then this guy I am sitting next to asks if we want their bucket of long island. I agree only because he offered us this because his wife was cutting him off the sauce for the night. He tells me there is something added......this scares me, but I proceed to drink the free booze. Kristen and I tried to sneak this guy shots everytime his wife got up, but she has to be the fastest woman bathroom goer ever! Anyways this guy tells me since I am in SC, I am a southerner now. I agree and talk with my best southern accent I have, hoping he wouldn't punch me....he laughed thankfully.
Now, this old lady had warned Kristen about some guy making a 'mess' in the women's bathroom. So, as she was walking to the bathroom later, she was joking with some guy about what she might find and told him the story of the 'mess'. The guy laughs and admits that it was him. Apparently he had to go bad, and the men's room was full.
Now, I opened a tab this night. We only bought 6 beers, but we were doing shots. Kristen likes shots, so we did all sorts of things, JD, cherry bombs, who knows what else. I told Kristen to put drinks on my tab, but she apparently paid for all the shots w/o me knowing. So, when I closed my tab I was astonished that none of the shots were on my tab, just 6 beers. i proceed to tip $7.50 for 6 beers thinking he gave us free shots. dummy!
Then things get bad. I wake up, in the bed, throwing up all over the floor next to me. Spend some time in the bathroom, go back to bed. I wake up to find my pleasant treat I left next to me bed. Get sick again, and for the 3rd time in my life, throw up the morning after. This day was officially going to be shot! Well, maybe not, I start to feel better and we go to the lazy river, but after about an hour lounging in the river, I feel bad again. We decide I need food. We go to this homestyle looking place, boasting they are American owned.....umm, ok. The lady said all the food is home-cooked. I am not sure what that means, as we are in a restaurant, did they make it from home then transport it...that would be gross. Well, that was a joke, this next line is not a joke. Worst food I have ever eaten, and we'll leave it at that. Here is a picture, DON'T EAT AT THE COUNTRY KITCHEN IN MYRTLE BEACH (not part of the chain)
Finally at night I feel better. We decide to take it easy as we decide to drive straight through on Friday. We went to a nice steakhouse, shot some mini-golf and called it a night. (How come mini-golf places dye their water kool-aid blue?)
Are We There Yet?
nothing of note, just a long, looooooooong, drive home.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
It feels like June in Anchorage
More like, June in Juneau!
Seriously, what is going on. I went to the Brewer game last night just to freeze my arse off while doing some tailgating with some fine refreshing Miller products. Thankfully the Miller girls recognized my hand being cold on my beer and delivered me a can coozie to keep my poor frigid hands off of the cold aluminum container.
Bill Hall? More like, Boo Hall!
Maybe, Bill Hall should have thought about possible reaction around Milwaukee before he had his agent come out demanding a trade because of the platoon Billy has found himself in. Someone should let Hall know that we are no longer in the "developmental" stage, we are in the winning stage, and we are in no position to mess around with a guy batting below the Mendoza line against right handed pitching! Ned Yost finally made a move that is geared towards winning now, and not trying to make everyone happy, and benched Bill against righties, good for Ned! I was at the game last night and happily booed whenever Bill Hall was up to the plate, whenever he struck out, and even when he got a hit. Ah well, Milwaukee needed someone new to express their disdain for. Bill Hall is the new, less talented Gary Sheffield! Let's just hope he doesn't purposely chuck a ball into the stands!
You stay classy Brewers faithful
I do have to admit, I am very proud of the Brewer fans giving Randy Johnson a nice ovation after he left the game. Randy had passed Roger Clemens on the all time strikeout list to move into sole possession of 2nd place. It's always nice to hear the following from a future hall of famer (talking about MKE fans): "One thing I won't forget in my career is the crowd," Johnson said. "Walking off the mound to get a standing ovation like that, as a visiting player, that meant a lot. That's pretty classy, and I won't forget that."Hats off to Randy! He has many accomplishments, 2nd all time in strikeouts, a no hitter, and his fastball is actually lethal (to birds at least)!
Seriously, what is going on. I went to the Brewer game last night just to freeze my arse off while doing some tailgating with some fine refreshing Miller products. Thankfully the Miller girls recognized my hand being cold on my beer and delivered me a can coozie to keep my poor frigid hands off of the cold aluminum container.
Bill Hall? More like, Boo Hall!
Maybe, Bill Hall should have thought about possible reaction around Milwaukee before he had his agent come out demanding a trade because of the platoon Billy has found himself in. Someone should let Hall know that we are no longer in the "developmental" stage, we are in the winning stage, and we are in no position to mess around with a guy batting below the Mendoza line against right handed pitching! Ned Yost finally made a move that is geared towards winning now, and not trying to make everyone happy, and benched Bill against righties, good for Ned! I was at the game last night and happily booed whenever Bill Hall was up to the plate, whenever he struck out, and even when he got a hit. Ah well, Milwaukee needed someone new to express their disdain for. Bill Hall is the new, less talented Gary Sheffield! Let's just hope he doesn't purposely chuck a ball into the stands!
You stay classy Brewers faithful
I do have to admit, I am very proud of the Brewer fans giving Randy Johnson a nice ovation after he left the game. Randy had passed Roger Clemens on the all time strikeout list to move into sole possession of 2nd place. It's always nice to hear the following from a future hall of famer (talking about MKE fans): "One thing I won't forget in my career is the crowd," Johnson said. "Walking off the mound to get a standing ovation like that, as a visiting player, that meant a lot. That's pretty classy, and I won't forget that."Hats off to Randy! He has many accomplishments, 2nd all time in strikeouts, a no hitter, and his fastball is actually lethal (to birds at least)!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Pewaukee - Whitewater's Newest Suburb
Last Sunday, over Memorial Day weekend. Mike and Andrea decided to christen their new place of residence with a good old fashioned flip cup tournament and cookout. I was excited for a couple of reasons. 1) they live just minutes from me 2) saves me money ($5 for beer and food) 3) I haven't had a good all day drunk for some time.
It was supposed to start around noon, so I showed up around 12:30, not wanting to be the first there. The good news is, I wasn't. I pulled in to the drive to see Mike's dad's Inifnity. The bad news, he left shortly after Andrea announced she was going to leave to pick up a beer bong. Which was sort of funny she says that with Mr. Brixius standing there.
One good thing about being first, was the keg had yet to be tapped. It has been years, literally, since I tapped a keg, and it felt goooood. The crowd started to show up shortly after, Justin & Angela, Jonny, Streich, Leah and friends, MVG, NH, Julia, Devonna. Others would show up a little later as well to keep the party going with fresh livers. There was some ladder golf, horsehoes, and of course tables for the flipping of the cups. It was sad though when we all wished we had a set of bags....then a light goes on in NH's head "wait, I have a set in my car!" The party was complete.
There was no real tournament of sorts, just people playing as they wished. I started off right where I finished the weekend in Whitewater, terrible. Thankfully this wasn't survivor style and I was able to regain my composure after a couple of attempts. Well, everyone was getting nice and lubed up, Andrea had started the beer bongs, Matt, Brent & Jess, and Leslie showed up. I started playing a game of dirty balls (ladder golf) just to not ever finish the game. I think we just sort of forgot about the game because we were too focused on getting our BAC up. During this whole stage is really where my memory is fuzzy. I remember laughing a lot...trying to convince Leah that we should have sex, and I remember it becoming dark. Mike's old neighbor dude brings his dog Mandy over to visit her new friend Steven....who attempts to get on Mandy, who is 4 times larger than Steven. Ummmmm, don't worry, my memory will come back strong as I apparently have slowed my drinking down quite a bit.
Anyways, night falls, and the barrel is cached out. Mike makes a run to the liquor store for some fine, high quality 30 packs of, Beast/Icehouse Light/Natty Ice. Mike then gets a lighter out, determined to start a campfire. Some have already left, Andrea was passed out. I think that maybe I should help, but then I feel some rain and decide against it. Mike stays trying to light something with the lighter wand. It is a futile attempt and we all trudge inside and down to the basement.
Not sure how this started, but Jonny and I ended up in a bit of a wrestling match. After I forced my sheer weight into a victory, Streich decides he is game for an ass whooping. Now Streich is a scrappy guy, trying to use his quickness in what he lacks in weight. Eventually I am able to take him down, but not without consequence. In the heat of battle I burn both my knees up pretty badly on the carpet. Thankfully I was able to leave me and my A+ blood on Streich's shorts. That way he can remember about how a guy weighing twice his weight took him down.
Here is where things start to get good.
Mike, passes out like, a turtle on his back Jonny C starts to make the corner of the basement his resting place for the night. Streich, MVG, NH, Julia, and I watch some TV. Some infomercial commercial thing comes on for a scooter, that looks like a bike. We all agree that a scooter that big is a really stupid idea. If I was going to get a scooter, would I not just get a Razor, so it would be portable and light? I decide to call this company and tell them about their retarded bike/scooter. However, their number had no one live, just computers wanting my credit card info. Onto the next commercial....Male Enhancement (not enzyte). This is too good to pass up. I call them up to what sounded like a young female (probably a college job she hates) on the phone asking if I want my free sample. I, truly curious, want to know if it really will make me 'larger'. She says in a straight voice, serious and whatnot, no, but it will make you firmer. I decide that I am plenty 'firm' enough (aka, didn't really want a sample or to give them my card info). This becomes the joke of the night amongst us five, about how firm I am. Even when it made no sense.
The TV bored us, and I honestly could have hit the sack at that point, but I was forced to go to Boomers, the bar near Mike's place. FYI, here is me being forced:
Dustin, let's go to Boomers
Nah, I'm tired
C'mon
Ok
I then attempt to force Jonny to the bar, by shaking him. Which naturally, pisses him off. I give up on that endeavour and we journeyed to the bar. I am not really sure what time it was, but I am guessing around midnight.
I take a seat at the bar, MVG orders up a round of drinks, and we have some fun. Some guy next to me asked me my name..my answer "fucking awesome". Apparently this guy thought this was hilarious and proceeded to give me a shot that he did not want, a snake bite. They really aren't as bad as this guy portrayed it to be. And I have had plenty in my day.
We move our sorry selves to the electronic bags game, where I quickly lose interest. Streich though finds the dark complected player, and decides it looks exactly like him. I pick the chick, because I would rather look at a computer chick ass, than a computer guy ass. Everyone then talks about some pool player and me talking, buit I don't recall such an event happening. This really short bartender then calls bartime, and Streich and I plead for one more drink, but to no avail, we were being booted. She did though hand us a free drink poker chip for our next visit to Boomers.
Bar time, the night would seem to be over, right? Incorrect, we were still thirsting for more, and crack into the terrible beer supply at Mike's. Well, on our return home from the bar, we noticed a house across the street from Mike's seemed to be having a party. We grab some beer and walk over to this house hoping they let us in for a rocking good time. They do. One minor problem, this is an obvious High School party. Some of Pewaukee High's best and brightest, I am sure. One of the first things we see is some douche rocket with his shirt off and hat tipped to the side bragging how he just had 26 shots. This of course, was extremely laughable, because if he did, he drank a lot of Pucker. The best part is, after (who I named shirtless) said this, this kid who appeared to be passed out on the couch fires up and proclaims he too drank 26 shots. Not impressed I challenge Shirtless to a shot off.
At this point, all I can think about is how in Beerfest the guys went to a high school party to "Mix it up a little bit" in order to play drinking games for practice. Then, after I made the challenge for a shot-off, I thought of the episode of Fresh Prince where Will drinks shots with the college's star football player just to get wasted and dream about dead people. I, however, was not concerned with ending up like young Will Smith.
So, Shirtless, goes to the liquor cabinet to find something, looks for a while, then just walks into the garage like nothing happened. Streich and I, determined to play a drinking game walk into the garage to see them playing beer pong...this we thought was going to be fun. The problem is, apparently kids in Pewaukee have too much money as they were playing for $20! Streich just looks at them in disgust and says "Yeah, we normally just play for the drinks". We head back inside.
I am in the shot mode now, and decide to dig through what I can only assume to be one kid's parent's liquor cabinet. Nothing good. Creme De Cacao, SAN JUAN RUM!!! REALLY?!?!, and then a saw some Grand Marnier. I pull the bottle out but was stopped by the one guy who was older than us. I am hoping he was an older brother. He does after a while give us a shot of the Grand Marnier.
Megan, Nicole, and Julia, decide to change their names, so no one would actually know who they were. The problem with their theory is they used each other's names, so there was still a Megan, Nicole, and Julia, just on different faces. They then decide to give Aaron a new name as well, Juan. This does not please Aaron, and he shows everyone his ID that his name is actually Aaron. This prompts one of the girls to show us her ID, and her last name is the hollowed name of Toth. Streich and I naturally ask if she knows the honorable B.Toth, she does not, we were sad. We wonder what B.Toth was doing at that moment, and figure that he is somewhere being honorable.
Shirtless comes back in the kitchen, convinced that Aaron was his drivers ed instructor. Aaron denies vehemently that he did not...which leads to Shirtless continuing to swear on his life that he taught him how to drive. What is funny is, Aaron obviously did teach him, as he taught drivers ed for years before the 'scooter incident'.
Our buddy's name, Conor, was a pretty cool kid I think. Normal, not douchy, not an idiot, and his name reminded Streich and I of Conor Jackson. We of course tell him, that if he was in fact Conor Jackson, he would be a pretty pimp 1B player for the Diamondbacks. The kid had a shirt, which he said he designed and made, of a bat...so, I call him Batman (as you can tell, I am very original in my naming at this part).
I am saving the best part for last. For those who were there, you were wondering where this tidbit was, well, here, well, the next paragraph.
There was this girl, who I learned her name was Britney. I don't want to sound mean, because she was very drunk, but she seemed your typical blonde bimbo. Every time she walked into the room I would say hi. I think she was impressed that I knew her name and kept saying hello. Eventually it became pretty obvious that this girl was digging me. Now, when I was in high school, I don't recall it being so easy to get the good looking girls, maybe she was impressed an older man knew her name, not sure. Well, I was playing along, and it was fun, but it borderlined statutory when she came over and sat on my lap (she was supposedly 18 actually, but still, not playing this game anymore). I raise my hands to signal I was having no part of this, she eventually moves on. At one point in the night I was talking to Streich and turned around to a chicken nugget dipped in BBQ about 3 inches from my face. It was a perfect turn around, not knowing there was a person, let alone a chicken nugget right next to me. I shoot a look of shock and confusion as Britney fed me that chicken nugget. It was pretty darn weird.
Eventually we get booted and carry on back to Mike's. I am sure those kids are talking about how the 30 year olds all showed up. We woke Mike up, cooked some cheeseburgers, and then went to bed. Not in the best place to add pics, but I am going to steal some off my facebook eventually.
Dustin Info
Location - 40 miles outside of Indianapolis and approaching. I am currently riding shotgun in a truck with a wireless card.
It was supposed to start around noon, so I showed up around 12:30, not wanting to be the first there. The good news is, I wasn't. I pulled in to the drive to see Mike's dad's Inifnity. The bad news, he left shortly after Andrea announced she was going to leave to pick up a beer bong. Which was sort of funny she says that with Mr. Brixius standing there.
One good thing about being first, was the keg had yet to be tapped. It has been years, literally, since I tapped a keg, and it felt goooood. The crowd started to show up shortly after, Justin & Angela, Jonny, Streich, Leah and friends, MVG, NH, Julia, Devonna. Others would show up a little later as well to keep the party going with fresh livers. There was some ladder golf, horsehoes, and of course tables for the flipping of the cups. It was sad though when we all wished we had a set of bags....then a light goes on in NH's head "wait, I have a set in my car!" The party was complete.
There was no real tournament of sorts, just people playing as they wished. I started off right where I finished the weekend in Whitewater, terrible. Thankfully this wasn't survivor style and I was able to regain my composure after a couple of attempts. Well, everyone was getting nice and lubed up, Andrea had started the beer bongs, Matt, Brent & Jess, and Leslie showed up. I started playing a game of dirty balls (ladder golf) just to not ever finish the game. I think we just sort of forgot about the game because we were too focused on getting our BAC up. During this whole stage is really where my memory is fuzzy. I remember laughing a lot...trying to convince Leah that we should have sex, and I remember it becoming dark. Mike's old neighbor dude brings his dog Mandy over to visit her new friend Steven....who attempts to get on Mandy, who is 4 times larger than Steven. Ummmmm, don't worry, my memory will come back strong as I apparently have slowed my drinking down quite a bit.
Anyways, night falls, and the barrel is cached out. Mike makes a run to the liquor store for some fine, high quality 30 packs of, Beast/Icehouse Light/Natty Ice. Mike then gets a lighter out, determined to start a campfire. Some have already left, Andrea was passed out. I think that maybe I should help, but then I feel some rain and decide against it. Mike stays trying to light something with the lighter wand. It is a futile attempt and we all trudge inside and down to the basement.
Not sure how this started, but Jonny and I ended up in a bit of a wrestling match. After I forced my sheer weight into a victory, Streich decides he is game for an ass whooping. Now Streich is a scrappy guy, trying to use his quickness in what he lacks in weight. Eventually I am able to take him down, but not without consequence. In the heat of battle I burn both my knees up pretty badly on the carpet. Thankfully I was able to leave me and my A+ blood on Streich's shorts. That way he can remember about how a guy weighing twice his weight took him down.
Here is where things start to get good.
Mike, passes out like, a turtle on his back Jonny C starts to make the corner of the basement his resting place for the night. Streich, MVG, NH, Julia, and I watch some TV. Some infomercial commercial thing comes on for a scooter, that looks like a bike. We all agree that a scooter that big is a really stupid idea. If I was going to get a scooter, would I not just get a Razor, so it would be portable and light? I decide to call this company and tell them about their retarded bike/scooter. However, their number had no one live, just computers wanting my credit card info. Onto the next commercial....Male Enhancement (not enzyte). This is too good to pass up. I call them up to what sounded like a young female (probably a college job she hates) on the phone asking if I want my free sample. I, truly curious, want to know if it really will make me 'larger'. She says in a straight voice, serious and whatnot, no, but it will make you firmer. I decide that I am plenty 'firm' enough (aka, didn't really want a sample or to give them my card info). This becomes the joke of the night amongst us five, about how firm I am. Even when it made no sense.
The TV bored us, and I honestly could have hit the sack at that point, but I was forced to go to Boomers, the bar near Mike's place. FYI, here is me being forced:
Dustin, let's go to Boomers
Nah, I'm tired
C'mon
Ok
I then attempt to force Jonny to the bar, by shaking him. Which naturally, pisses him off. I give up on that endeavour and we journeyed to the bar. I am not really sure what time it was, but I am guessing around midnight.
I take a seat at the bar, MVG orders up a round of drinks, and we have some fun. Some guy next to me asked me my name..my answer "fucking awesome". Apparently this guy thought this was hilarious and proceeded to give me a shot that he did not want, a snake bite. They really aren't as bad as this guy portrayed it to be. And I have had plenty in my day.
We move our sorry selves to the electronic bags game, where I quickly lose interest. Streich though finds the dark complected player, and decides it looks exactly like him. I pick the chick, because I would rather look at a computer chick ass, than a computer guy ass. Everyone then talks about some pool player and me talking, buit I don't recall such an event happening. This really short bartender then calls bartime, and Streich and I plead for one more drink, but to no avail, we were being booted. She did though hand us a free drink poker chip for our next visit to Boomers.
Bar time, the night would seem to be over, right? Incorrect, we were still thirsting for more, and crack into the terrible beer supply at Mike's. Well, on our return home from the bar, we noticed a house across the street from Mike's seemed to be having a party. We grab some beer and walk over to this house hoping they let us in for a rocking good time. They do. One minor problem, this is an obvious High School party. Some of Pewaukee High's best and brightest, I am sure. One of the first things we see is some douche rocket with his shirt off and hat tipped to the side bragging how he just had 26 shots. This of course, was extremely laughable, because if he did, he drank a lot of Pucker. The best part is, after (who I named shirtless) said this, this kid who appeared to be passed out on the couch fires up and proclaims he too drank 26 shots. Not impressed I challenge Shirtless to a shot off.
At this point, all I can think about is how in Beerfest the guys went to a high school party to "Mix it up a little bit" in order to play drinking games for practice. Then, after I made the challenge for a shot-off, I thought of the episode of Fresh Prince where Will drinks shots with the college's star football player just to get wasted and dream about dead people. I, however, was not concerned with ending up like young Will Smith.
So, Shirtless, goes to the liquor cabinet to find something, looks for a while, then just walks into the garage like nothing happened. Streich and I, determined to play a drinking game walk into the garage to see them playing beer pong...this we thought was going to be fun. The problem is, apparently kids in Pewaukee have too much money as they were playing for $20! Streich just looks at them in disgust and says "Yeah, we normally just play for the drinks". We head back inside.
I am in the shot mode now, and decide to dig through what I can only assume to be one kid's parent's liquor cabinet. Nothing good. Creme De Cacao, SAN JUAN RUM!!! REALLY?!?!, and then a saw some Grand Marnier. I pull the bottle out but was stopped by the one guy who was older than us. I am hoping he was an older brother. He does after a while give us a shot of the Grand Marnier.
Megan, Nicole, and Julia, decide to change their names, so no one would actually know who they were. The problem with their theory is they used each other's names, so there was still a Megan, Nicole, and Julia, just on different faces. They then decide to give Aaron a new name as well, Juan. This does not please Aaron, and he shows everyone his ID that his name is actually Aaron. This prompts one of the girls to show us her ID, and her last name is the hollowed name of Toth. Streich and I naturally ask if she knows the honorable B.Toth, she does not, we were sad. We wonder what B.Toth was doing at that moment, and figure that he is somewhere being honorable.
Shirtless comes back in the kitchen, convinced that Aaron was his drivers ed instructor. Aaron denies vehemently that he did not...which leads to Shirtless continuing to swear on his life that he taught him how to drive. What is funny is, Aaron obviously did teach him, as he taught drivers ed for years before the 'scooter incident'.
Our buddy's name, Conor, was a pretty cool kid I think. Normal, not douchy, not an idiot, and his name reminded Streich and I of Conor Jackson. We of course tell him, that if he was in fact Conor Jackson, he would be a pretty pimp 1B player for the Diamondbacks. The kid had a shirt, which he said he designed and made, of a bat...so, I call him Batman (as you can tell, I am very original in my naming at this part).
I am saving the best part for last. For those who were there, you were wondering where this tidbit was, well, here, well, the next paragraph.
There was this girl, who I learned her name was Britney. I don't want to sound mean, because she was very drunk, but she seemed your typical blonde bimbo. Every time she walked into the room I would say hi. I think she was impressed that I knew her name and kept saying hello. Eventually it became pretty obvious that this girl was digging me. Now, when I was in high school, I don't recall it being so easy to get the good looking girls, maybe she was impressed an older man knew her name, not sure. Well, I was playing along, and it was fun, but it borderlined statutory when she came over and sat on my lap (she was supposedly 18 actually, but still, not playing this game anymore). I raise my hands to signal I was having no part of this, she eventually moves on. At one point in the night I was talking to Streich and turned around to a chicken nugget dipped in BBQ about 3 inches from my face. It was a perfect turn around, not knowing there was a person, let alone a chicken nugget right next to me. I shoot a look of shock and confusion as Britney fed me that chicken nugget. It was pretty darn weird.
Eventually we get booted and carry on back to Mike's. I am sure those kids are talking about how the 30 year olds all showed up. We woke Mike up, cooked some cheeseburgers, and then went to bed. Not in the best place to add pics, but I am going to steal some off my facebook eventually.
Dustin Info
Location - 40 miles outside of Indianapolis and approaching. I am currently riding shotgun in a truck with a wireless card.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A Whitewater Weekend
Last weekend I traveled to good old Whitewater for some old fashioned fun(getting to literally mean 'old' fashioned...soon, not yet), to celebrate MVG and Streich's commencement from the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater. They too, will now feel the joy's of a world that doesn't give you summer vacations and where drinking is limited to 1 or 2....maaaaybe 3 nights a week if you're feeling adventurous. The obvious perk though of graduating is the sweet newsletter that shows up at your door to see if they randomly killed off anymore of your friends who are actually alive. I still say it is a miracle Jonny, if a fine institution like UW-Whitewater thinks you are dead, and then you aren't....well you sir, performed a miracle. Two more of those and you have saint written all over you!
I first stopped at Denny's to have a beer with the very goateed Peter Meyer, who apparently is waiting for 1995 to return. After the beer it is off to the party. The party was at Megan's place on Caine, which I was honestly pumped for. It had been a long time since I hung out with the EEE girls, and I was having Sigma withdrawal and I think they missed me too, or they better have!
I don't think it is a coincidence that the moment I showed up, the parentals left. They saw a kid, who had some obvious drinking experience...literally saw the beer gut and the alcoholically aged complexion. First up, after the cheese curds and what tasted a lot like cowboy potatoes, was some flip cup action. At first I was on fire, two flips was devastating to me. As we started up a game of survivor flip cup I was feeling good. However, after our team started to lose, I seemed to be the one that always got to drink the extra cups......then, tragedy struck. It took me about 10 flips on one of my cups, thus sealing my fate in survivor flip cup. I then remember NH telling me some news that made me happy.....then
TIME TRAVEL
So, suddenly I am at the Pub. I wish I could transport like that whenever I wanted to, but it seems to happen in WW only. Scientists should check that town out for some crazy radioactive elements or something.
Anyways, the Pub. I was doing my normal harassing of the bartenders. Trying to buy them shots every 5 minutes and asking why no one was around. It was 9:30 and they can't drink until Midnight. The beauty of the Whitewater bars, as most of you know, is the affordablity. I was low on cash and had just ordered 3 shots. I had $7...........anywhere else this would not cut it, and I was nervous about having to make a mid-shot ATM run. Naturally, $7 was enough money for those shots in WW. Then this girl had some fingernail polish and she wanted to try it out. So, my right hand was soon adorned with 3 shiny pink fingernails, oh goodie (more on those fingernails).
WHAM, I am at Pumpers. ew. What did I deserve to be transported to such an awful bar. I bump into an old Arrow buddy...we talk about stuff I am sure.
Now I have been magically transported to the Downstairs looking for friends who I have apparently lost. Then I get a magical idea, go order Rosa's and keep dialing away for friends. I have been calling NH now many, many times on my blackberry with no answer. Why the blackberry, because naturally, I lose people and my phone with most of my numbers on it dies. This leaves NH has the only relevant person in my phone for where I am supposed to sleep. I decide to take a break from my nonstop calling so I can enjoy my Italian Beef, where else, but on the street corner. Yes people, I had my dipping sauces conveniently placed on the sidewalk and chowed down to the looks of concerned drunks.
I then was struck with an idea, go to my car, charge my phone so I can call some people. GENIUS! I walk to my car (a 5 minute walk from where I was to sleep that night), and then I time traveled again. This time I was placed in the back seat of my car crunched up in the little Ion. I was shivering, just to find a hoodie laying next to me (not on me). Then my neck hurt a lot, and I found out a jug of window washer fluid had made for my pillow that night.
Well, what else am I to do at this point but drive home, 6 am.
Back to the fingernail polish. My friend Kristen was supposed to bring some remover over for me, but she fell asleep and never delivered. This left me going to work the next day in the office scraping furiously with my keys and a pen cap to get the shit off. I can't get it all off before I have a big meeting. I proceed to hide my right hand the entire time......then I found a dollar.
Anyhow, if you've ever been to Whitewater, and I know all 4 of my readers have, then you know that this is just a typical night, it is called being Whitewater Drunk.....and this sort of drunk is not acceptable in any other city that I know of.
People, do not let your kids go to Whitewater, I know I won't.
Current Dustin Info:
Location - Buffalo, NY
Song stuck in my head for weeks - Bon Jovi - Someday I'll be Saturday Night
Clothing - License Plate Boxers (picture that people)
TV Program Watching - American Idol finale (first show watched since auditions)
Favorite thing heard today - "Monkey wants my burger" (Red Robin commercial)
Food Ate Today - Panera for lunch and chicken parm from the hotel for dinner
I first stopped at Denny's to have a beer with the very goateed Peter Meyer, who apparently is waiting for 1995 to return. After the beer it is off to the party. The party was at Megan's place on Caine, which I was honestly pumped for. It had been a long time since I hung out with the EEE girls, and I was having Sigma withdrawal and I think they missed me too, or they better have!
I don't think it is a coincidence that the moment I showed up, the parentals left. They saw a kid, who had some obvious drinking experience...literally saw the beer gut and the alcoholically aged complexion. First up, after the cheese curds and what tasted a lot like cowboy potatoes, was some flip cup action. At first I was on fire, two flips was devastating to me. As we started up a game of survivor flip cup I was feeling good. However, after our team started to lose, I seemed to be the one that always got to drink the extra cups......then, tragedy struck. It took me about 10 flips on one of my cups, thus sealing my fate in survivor flip cup. I then remember NH telling me some news that made me happy.....then
TIME TRAVEL
So, suddenly I am at the Pub. I wish I could transport like that whenever I wanted to, but it seems to happen in WW only. Scientists should check that town out for some crazy radioactive elements or something.
Anyways, the Pub. I was doing my normal harassing of the bartenders. Trying to buy them shots every 5 minutes and asking why no one was around. It was 9:30 and they can't drink until Midnight. The beauty of the Whitewater bars, as most of you know, is the affordablity. I was low on cash and had just ordered 3 shots. I had $7...........anywhere else this would not cut it, and I was nervous about having to make a mid-shot ATM run. Naturally, $7 was enough money for those shots in WW. Then this girl had some fingernail polish and she wanted to try it out. So, my right hand was soon adorned with 3 shiny pink fingernails, oh goodie (more on those fingernails).
WHAM, I am at Pumpers. ew. What did I deserve to be transported to such an awful bar. I bump into an old Arrow buddy...we talk about stuff I am sure.
Now I have been magically transported to the Downstairs looking for friends who I have apparently lost. Then I get a magical idea, go order Rosa's and keep dialing away for friends. I have been calling NH now many, many times on my blackberry with no answer. Why the blackberry, because naturally, I lose people and my phone with most of my numbers on it dies. This leaves NH has the only relevant person in my phone for where I am supposed to sleep. I decide to take a break from my nonstop calling so I can enjoy my Italian Beef, where else, but on the street corner. Yes people, I had my dipping sauces conveniently placed on the sidewalk and chowed down to the looks of concerned drunks.
I then was struck with an idea, go to my car, charge my phone so I can call some people. GENIUS! I walk to my car (a 5 minute walk from where I was to sleep that night), and then I time traveled again. This time I was placed in the back seat of my car crunched up in the little Ion. I was shivering, just to find a hoodie laying next to me (not on me). Then my neck hurt a lot, and I found out a jug of window washer fluid had made for my pillow that night.
Well, what else am I to do at this point but drive home, 6 am.
Back to the fingernail polish. My friend Kristen was supposed to bring some remover over for me, but she fell asleep and never delivered. This left me going to work the next day in the office scraping furiously with my keys and a pen cap to get the shit off. I can't get it all off before I have a big meeting. I proceed to hide my right hand the entire time......then I found a dollar.
Anyhow, if you've ever been to Whitewater, and I know all 4 of my readers have, then you know that this is just a typical night, it is called being Whitewater Drunk.....and this sort of drunk is not acceptable in any other city that I know of.
People, do not let your kids go to Whitewater, I know I won't.
Current Dustin Info:
Location - Buffalo, NY
Song stuck in my head for weeks - Bon Jovi - Someday I'll be Saturday Night
Clothing - License Plate Boxers (picture that people)
TV Program Watching - American Idol finale (first show watched since auditions)
Favorite thing heard today - "Monkey wants my burger" (Red Robin commercial)
Food Ate Today - Panera for lunch and chicken parm from the hotel for dinner
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Where in the hell is Callahan Auto Parts?
Greeting folks from Sandusky, Ohio!
Yes, I made like young Tommy Callahan and left Milwaukee for Sandusky for a job I would rather not do. Differences obviously, I didn't graduate Marquette, I don't work in Sandusky, and my dad isn't a millionaire.
What would I like to do? I would like to go to Cedar Point and ride roller coasters. But noo, I have to drive a truck and trailer for work.
Yes, my company loves to let me drive a large pickup truck with a 24 ft trailer around the country, and yes, they know I want nothing to do with this damn trailer, I was never hired to drive a trailer, and let me stress again, I hate this trailer.
The trip wasn't actually too bad, it was a sunny day and it was all interstate. The problem, so far up to $50 in tolls, with more toll roads to come. Sure, I get paid back, but it will be in the end of July. I need this money now for my trip to Myrtle Beach in a few weeks.
Funny story. While driving through Chicago, one of the toll booth workers yelled, I mean, YELLED, at me. Why? Because this man who obviously hates life, mumbled some number that no one would be able to understand. See, I don't know what they charge me when I have the trailer, as they don't really post that shit anywhere visible beforehand. Anyways, I ask politely what he said, and he yells, extremely pissed off $2.25!!!!! This at first seemed to tick me off, but then really made my day. For some reason, that guy snapping at a toll booth, amused me.
Tomorrow though, I head to Buffalo....but don't worry folks, home on Friday around noon! (via airplane)
Yes, I made like young Tommy Callahan and left Milwaukee for Sandusky for a job I would rather not do. Differences obviously, I didn't graduate Marquette, I don't work in Sandusky, and my dad isn't a millionaire.
What would I like to do? I would like to go to Cedar Point and ride roller coasters. But noo, I have to drive a truck and trailer for work.
Yes, my company loves to let me drive a large pickup truck with a 24 ft trailer around the country, and yes, they know I want nothing to do with this damn trailer, I was never hired to drive a trailer, and let me stress again, I hate this trailer.
The trip wasn't actually too bad, it was a sunny day and it was all interstate. The problem, so far up to $50 in tolls, with more toll roads to come. Sure, I get paid back, but it will be in the end of July. I need this money now for my trip to Myrtle Beach in a few weeks.
Funny story. While driving through Chicago, one of the toll booth workers yelled, I mean, YELLED, at me. Why? Because this man who obviously hates life, mumbled some number that no one would be able to understand. See, I don't know what they charge me when I have the trailer, as they don't really post that shit anywhere visible beforehand. Anyways, I ask politely what he said, and he yells, extremely pissed off $2.25!!!!! This at first seemed to tick me off, but then really made my day. For some reason, that guy snapping at a toll booth, amused me.
Tomorrow though, I head to Buffalo....but don't worry folks, home on Friday around noon! (via airplane)
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Obama in '08, Butteris in 2020
Yep, a Political Blog
I received in e-mail the other day from a co-worker who apparently was unfamiliar with my political beliefs and who I am voting for. Below is the e-mail, my comments will be in bold, the email in italics:
Subject: The Obama Tidal Wave
> I'm so afraid to vote and so afraid NOT to vote, but this sure doesn't
> sound like a solution to me!!!!
>
> Subject: The Obama Tidal Wave>
> We are witnessing a political phenomenon with Barack Obama of rare
> magnitude. His speeches have inspired millions and yet most of his
> followers have no idea of what he stands for except platitudes of
> "Change" or that he says he will be a "Uniter".(I believe Bushie boy claimed he was a Uniter)
>
> The power of speech from a charismatic person truly can be a powerful
> thing.
> Certainly Billy Graham had charisma and both his manner of speech and
> particularly the content changed millions. On the extreme other hand,
> the charisma of Adolph Hitler inspired millions and the results were
> catastrophic. (People like Billy Graham, and now Pat Robertson are part of the major problems of this country, talk about people following blindly, and yes, I am a Christian)
>
> Barack Obama certainly is no Hitler or a Billy Graham, but for many
> Americans out there feeling just like a surfer who might be ecstatic
> and euphoric while riding a tidal wave, the real story is what happens
> when it hits shore. Just Some of What Defines Barack Obama:>
> . He voted against banning partial birth abortion.>
> . He voted no on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state
> abortions.
> (I don't touch the abortion issue, no way am I getting involved on this)
> . Supports affirmative action in Colleges and Government.
(This is a program designed to help, but it needs to be scaled back a little bit. However, it is probably necessary in certain areas still, so, no problem to me
> . In 2001 he questioned harsh penalties for drug dealing.
(First, you have to look at his constituents, South Chicago. Also, unless there is violence, let's not crowd our jails, especially if it is Marijuana)>
> . Says he will deal with street level drug dealing as a minimum wage affair.
> . Admitted marijuana and cocaine use in high school and in college.
(Good for him, we all have past demons...Also, George Bush, cocaine...yeah, let's not be hypocrites)>
> . His religious convictions are very murky.
(Says who? The man is a Christian. His pastor went crazy, sure, but that isn't an issue to me)
>
> . He is willing to meet with Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Kim Jung Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
> . Has said that one of his first goals after being elected would be to have a conference with all Muslim nations.
(What is wrong with diplomacy? As Kennedy said, "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.")
> . Opposed the Patriot Act.
(Just because the word Patriot is in it, doesn't make it good. It infringes on citizen's constitutional rights...good for Obama to oppose this shit Act)
> . First bill he signed that was passed was campaign finance reform.
(Sounds good to me, that shit is getting out of control, Hey Republicans, McCain is your nominee...let us not forget the McCain/Feingold act)
>
> . Voted No on prohibiting law suits against gun manufacturers.
(The one thing I am not a huge fan of his is he has wants increased gun control, which isn't a bad idea, but goes against the 2nd Amendment a little bit. Once again, jsut remember, he represented South Chicago in the IL Senate, where guns are out of control)
>
> . Supports universal health-care.
(I would say this to be a good thing)
> . Voted yes on providing habeas corpus for Guantanamo detainees.
(Just because Georgie can't pronounce Habeas Corpus, doesn't mean we should disregard a part of our Constitution)>
> . Supports granting driver's licenses to illegal immigrants.
(Well, one license works for like, 23 people. Ok, that was bad, but funny)
>
> . Supports extending welfare to illegal immigrants.
> . Voted NO to making English the official language of the USA.
(Remember, this is a free country, do, speak, commerce, as you please)
>
> . Voted yes on comprehensive immigration reform.
> . Voted yes on allowing illegal aliens to participate in Social Security.
> . Wants to make the minimum wage a "living wage".
(Our minimum wage sucks, people can't 'live' off of it)
> Voted with Democratic Party 96 percent of 251 votes.
(Well, I guess he is a Democrat..shocking)
>
> . Is a big believer in the separation of church and state.
(I love this one...Separation of Church and State is right in the constitution!)
>
> . Opposed to any efforts to Privatize Social Security and instead supports increasing the amount of tax paid.
(I personally wouldn't mind privatization, but let's face it, it isn't going to happen)
> . He voted No on repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax.>
> . He voted No on repealing the "Death" Tax>
> . He wants to raise the Capital Gains Tax.
(Not sure, but isn't this a rich person tax?)
> . Has repeatedly said the surge in Iraq has not succeeded.
(Worst War, EVER! He is right)
> . He is ranked as the most liberal Senator in the Senate today and that takes some doing.
> If your political choices are consistent with Barack Obama's and you
> think that his positions will bring America together or make it a
> better place, then you will probably enjoy the ride and not forward this Email. If you are like most Americans that after examining what he stands for, are truly not in line with his record, it would be prudent to get off the wave or better yet, never get on, before it comes on shore and undermines the very foundations of this great Country.
(George W. Bush might have well spat on the Constitution, time for a change. I am riding this wave still)
I received in e-mail the other day from a co-worker who apparently was unfamiliar with my political beliefs and who I am voting for. Below is the e-mail, my comments will be in bold, the email in italics:
Subject: The Obama Tidal Wave
> I'm so afraid to vote and so afraid NOT to vote, but this sure doesn't
> sound like a solution to me!!!!
>
> Subject: The Obama Tidal Wave>
> We are witnessing a political phenomenon with Barack Obama of rare
> magnitude. His speeches have inspired millions and yet most of his
> followers have no idea of what he stands for except platitudes of
> "Change" or that he says he will be a "Uniter".(I believe Bushie boy claimed he was a Uniter)
>
> The power of speech from a charismatic person truly can be a powerful
> thing.
> Certainly Billy Graham had charisma and both his manner of speech and
> particularly the content changed millions. On the extreme other hand,
> the charisma of Adolph Hitler inspired millions and the results were
> catastrophic. (People like Billy Graham, and now Pat Robertson are part of the major problems of this country, talk about people following blindly, and yes, I am a Christian)
>
> Barack Obama certainly is no Hitler or a Billy Graham, but for many
> Americans out there feeling just like a surfer who might be ecstatic
> and euphoric while riding a tidal wave, the real story is what happens
> when it hits shore. Just Some of What Defines Barack Obama:>
> . He voted against banning partial birth abortion.>
> . He voted no on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state
> abortions.
> (I don't touch the abortion issue, no way am I getting involved on this)
> . Supports affirmative action in Colleges and Government.
(This is a program designed to help, but it needs to be scaled back a little bit. However, it is probably necessary in certain areas still, so, no problem to me
> . In 2001 he questioned harsh penalties for drug dealing.
(First, you have to look at his constituents, South Chicago. Also, unless there is violence, let's not crowd our jails, especially if it is Marijuana)>
> . Says he will deal with street level drug dealing as a minimum wage affair.
> . Admitted marijuana and cocaine use in high school and in college.
(Good for him, we all have past demons...Also, George Bush, cocaine...yeah, let's not be hypocrites)>
> . His religious convictions are very murky.
(Says who? The man is a Christian. His pastor went crazy, sure, but that isn't an issue to me)
>
> . He is willing to meet with Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Kim Jung Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
> . Has said that one of his first goals after being elected would be to have a conference with all Muslim nations.
(What is wrong with diplomacy? As Kennedy said, "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.")
> . Opposed the Patriot Act.
(Just because the word Patriot is in it, doesn't make it good. It infringes on citizen's constitutional rights...good for Obama to oppose this shit Act)
> . First bill he signed that was passed was campaign finance reform.
(Sounds good to me, that shit is getting out of control, Hey Republicans, McCain is your nominee...let us not forget the McCain/Feingold act)
>
> . Voted No on prohibiting law suits against gun manufacturers.
(The one thing I am not a huge fan of his is he has wants increased gun control, which isn't a bad idea, but goes against the 2nd Amendment a little bit. Once again, jsut remember, he represented South Chicago in the IL Senate, where guns are out of control)
>
> . Supports universal health-care.
(I would say this to be a good thing)
> . Voted yes on providing habeas corpus for Guantanamo detainees.
(Just because Georgie can't pronounce Habeas Corpus, doesn't mean we should disregard a part of our Constitution)>
> . Supports granting driver's licenses to illegal immigrants.
(Well, one license works for like, 23 people. Ok, that was bad, but funny)
>
> . Supports extending welfare to illegal immigrants.
> . Voted NO to making English the official language of the USA.
(Remember, this is a free country, do, speak, commerce, as you please)
>
> . Voted yes on comprehensive immigration reform.
> . Voted yes on allowing illegal aliens to participate in Social Security.
> . Wants to make the minimum wage a "living wage".
(Our minimum wage sucks, people can't 'live' off of it)
> Voted with Democratic Party 96 percent of 251 votes.
(Well, I guess he is a Democrat..shocking)
>
> . Is a big believer in the separation of church and state.
(I love this one...Separation of Church and State is right in the constitution!)
>
> . Opposed to any efforts to Privatize Social Security and instead supports increasing the amount of tax paid.
(I personally wouldn't mind privatization, but let's face it, it isn't going to happen)
> . He voted No on repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax.>
> . He voted No on repealing the "Death" Tax>
> . He wants to raise the Capital Gains Tax.
(Not sure, but isn't this a rich person tax?)
> . Has repeatedly said the surge in Iraq has not succeeded.
(Worst War, EVER! He is right)
> . He is ranked as the most liberal Senator in the Senate today and that takes some doing.
> If your political choices are consistent with Barack Obama's and you
> think that his positions will bring America together or make it a
> better place, then you will probably enjoy the ride and not forward this Email. If you are like most Americans that after examining what he stands for, are truly not in line with his record, it would be prudent to get off the wave or better yet, never get on, before it comes on shore and undermines the very foundations of this great Country.
(George W. Bush might have well spat on the Constitution, time for a change. I am riding this wave still)
Monday, April 14, 2008
My conversation with St. Peter
Alright folks, been a while and as Bernard so politely put it "If you die, you do not want your final post to be about George W Bush". Bernard, you are absolutely right, could you just imagine that conversation with St. Peter........awwwwwkward
St. Peter - Really? That is what you are going to say. All you really had to say was something generic like, "spend more time with my family" "work with charitable causes", something like that and you were in like flynn.......but you regret not updating your blog, well, ok, here is a pamphlet on hell, I personally recommend the sauna there, it takes a little getting used to the scalding steam, but it does wonders getting the toxins out of your body......that you will get from the lighter fluid soaked burgers you will be forced to eat.
St. Peter - Dustin, before I can let you pass the gates I just have to ask you a couple of questions. Now, you have lived a good life, but you were a frequent sinner, now nothing really bad, so don't worry, but, I have to ask you, techinicalites and such....What is your biggest regret?
Dustin - Well, I would have to say it was not updating my blog that has a viewership of 3-5 people. I ended it talking about George Bush.....I am so ashamed of myself.
St. Peter - Really? That is what you are going to say. All you really had to say was something generic like, "spend more time with my family" "work with charitable causes", something like that and you were in like flynn.......but you regret not updating your blog, well, ok, here is a pamphlet on hell, I personally recommend the sauna there, it takes a little getting used to the scalding steam, but it does wonders getting the toxins out of your body......that you will get from the lighter fluid soaked burgers you will be forced to eat.
Yes, St. Peter says "In like Flynn" in my mind. I think a big reason for my lack of posting is I have not been carrying a camera with me anymore, thus if I post I either have to steal pics or write a text heavy blog. One goal of mine is to take my camera out again which should help with the blogging.
So, the truth is, I am currently in Hudson, WI waiting for the old people to get out of the fitness center so I can work out. Working out is going to be something I try on for size. I know I always say this, but I am getting to be a hefty hefty individual. After my last experiment I decided I have a hard time eating healthy or sticking to a diet, so I am going to try the other half of losing weight, working out. This actually doesn't bother me to do. in fact, once you get a routine going it is extremely easy. I have this philosophy that follows that of Celebrity Fit Clubber Dustin Diamond. Eat what I want, work out, lose weight...should work I figure. I actually have a couple of plans already.
1. Kick Sam's ass in tennis. Now, I've played tennis twice in my life, so Sam thinks she is going to whoop me, and she well may....however, until the mean time, I have to assume I am amazing.
2. Play Mike in tennis...once again, I have to assume I will be amazing. I rock at Wii tennis afterall.
3. Shoot some hoops with Peter. This will be a battle of a fat, out of shape Dustin against the smoker's lung of Peter......we might stick with horse for a while. Funny story right, Peter went to high school in Ithaca. A town not far from Highland that, get this, is smaller than Highland. We figure we played each other in actual organized basketball. I have to assume I stuffed the ball in his face and quite possibly dunked over him. No, I am sure of it.
4. I am getting a bike, and am currently looking for candidates to go biking on some trails or something. Let me know if you are interested, you can apply online or over the phone.
5. Walk with Kristen. She lives right by me, we both talk a lot about losing weight, we both agree now that it is nice we should walk the wonderful streets of Waukesha.
6. Work out when on the road. Which is currently what I am wanting to do now....stupid old people.
While waiting, I am watching How I Met your Mother. Amazing show. Now, I watched the first episode when it was first on, and I thought to myself "This is a good show, I should make this a regular show I watch" Of course, I didn't. However, last week, Peter gave me the 1st season on DVD...yeah, I was right, it is amazing. About a bunch of mid 20's friends that drink...cool. You should all watch it or else you are going to regret not seeing it and St. Peter is going to send you right to hell when that is your one life's regret....don't say I didn't warn you!
As I said, I am currently in Hudson, WI right next to the Twin Cities, I had to spend one night in WI to make it feel like I am sort of home, thankfully Holiday Inns always upgrade me to suite's if they are open, and I have this awesome living room, kitchen, and hot tub right in the room. Yes, after I work out, I am going to sit in that said hot tub and pray to god the cleaning staff uses ultra potent cleaning fluid, because I am sure people have done it in there....icky. Anyways, on my long drive up I stopped off in Black River Falls to visit fellow Lowlander Lauree. We went off to a Chinese Buffet (eat what I want and work out) and talked about a possible camping trip. Now, Lauree and that group of friends always have a big camping trip every year, last couple years I have not been able to attend, but this year I think I will. The date will be the weekend of June 8th or something. We both think Canada would be a good destination. We had gone years back to Canada to camp and legally drink at 20, and it was a great time. She informed me that other might not want to take the long trek, but she was at least hoping for the Apostle Islands, which would be every bit as sweet.
Well, that is enough rambling on for now, I have to see if the old people are done preventing heart attacks.
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